hi crissie thanks so much for your reply, 7 weeks now without food sips of water and just the morphine drive and injection tops ups and he’s still going, Its really hit me hard today he said he just wants to go now, its so so cruel! I want him to stay forever but I don’t want him to suffer this is so cruel I can’t believe only over a month ago I had two dads 

Hi Chriss, I haven't been on here for a long time. My dear dad passed away 28 November peacefully with my mum and myself there  after a long hard fight. It's 6 months on Wednesday and I can't tell you how much I miss him and how angry I am he had to suffer the way he did when he didn't smoke and was so healthy and most of all the best dad, husband and grandad, life's is very cruel. I did what you said I spoke to him and stroked his head and told him how loved he was and to go to sleep now and be at peace. Thanks for your kind message and I wish you all the best xx

Hi...so so sorry ...

But thank you for letting me know... that means so much ... and I'm so glad you were both with him ...

My granddaughter now is battling acute myeloid leukaemia... and just had her stem cell transplant... she's only 18 ... so wer all behind her now ... yes this is so crule .. my granddaughter never smoked .. never heard her cuss, or raise her voice to anyone ... such a gentle soul ... so I will cuss for her .. 

Cancer doesn't care, your right ... it has no compation .. but now carry your dad safely tucked up in your heart.. and he will see through your eyes...  I bet he's looking down well proud ..

Sending a vertual hug... Chrissie  

I'm so so sorry to hear about your granddaughter! I really do send my love and she will fight it and win this! 
it's only just hit me with my dad. Even though he wasn't my biological dad he really was and I only lost my biological father 8 weeks before him so it's been very hard. I always said I was lucky having 2 dads but now I have two wonder guardian angels looking over me! I was there for them both as they went away and I carried both their coffins with pride like they both carried e with pride as a child and when they both gave me away for my marriage. Thanks again for your reply you don't know how much it means as I hold it all in to the people I know as I have to look after and protect my mum and brother now xx

My dad brought up one daughter from tiny, that wasn't a biological daughter .. my big sis, but he loved her exactly the same as his two biological ones .. she was my true sister, and I couldn't have loved her more ... and I lost her last month, from dementure ... but right till the end she knew how much dad loved her .. and I'm really proud of that ... you were blessed to know both .. 

Like you say .. you have two daddies looking down on you now ...

Yes I do Chrissy I've been so lucky but to lose them both within 8 weeks I wish I could have had another year with my dad (2) to help me. We never once spoke of my biological dad passing l. He didn't eat for 2 and half months only sips of water and he never ever once complained. He was a warrior. The nurses were amazed! I never in my life want to see that again or see someone I love so much take their last breath because I can't sleep. That's all I see. I've been waiting for grief counciling for 5 months but because of this virus it's not getting anywhere. All I wish for is their is an afterlife and they both ar happy and having the best life that they deserve and that they are proud of me. And I promised them both I would stay strong and I would look after my mum and brother. Tears are streaming down my face writing this. I wish I could grieve for them with someone xx

Oh bless ya ..

Now I learned from a book I was given once, it's "how to mend a broken heart" 

Now it gave a little exercise for when the pain was too much .. and too sad ..

Firstly , measure how bad you feel .. 1 to 10 ...

Then close your eyes and remember the funniest memory you have of that person .. now relive it really slowly, word for word .. how it made you feel, their face .. over and over till it pushes the sad memories away ... l have used it many times ...it doesn't take it away, but makes it bearable ..

But remember that first year, those tears will help you too .. it's holding them in that does damage... you will feel angry, sad, cuss and go through all those emotions... there no easy way round ..it's like a cut that won't heal ..

If you hadn't loved so much, it wouldn't hurt .. and I know I'd rather love then never known it ... an old budist saying is smile because you were blessed to have had them in your life ... 

So hold on in there ... I expect your two dad's are having a good old natter right now, saying "look at our girl" ...xx