Hi, I'm devastated. We've been through so much these last three years. Hes been with me through the cancer. Its bern a hard journey. I have my one year check tomorrow. Hes talked separation which we did along time ago. He had feelings for someone. 6 weeks later he said he wanted me back. Since then weve had ups and downs but always got through it. That's what marriage is all about right.  Weve tried talking but I'm putting all the work into it. Told him this and he said he would try.  We went out for tea last night and I tried to role play like it was our first date. He was laughing but then he didnt seem to try. 

I cried myself to sleep  last night. I'm not sleeping. Uve had pneumonia then cancer then a bleed from procedure I have Graves disease and now Hiatus hernia. Hes took over the role for shopping and other things.  Hes never complained. He does  care for me but that's it. I've give him an ultimatum this morning for a separation as hed mentioned this. I cant go on feeling like this. It's too much stress. I know if we separate it will be harder to get back together as I've done it in the past.  My heart pains. All my family live abroad. At some point it makes it certain when we have to tell our 2 grown up children today. He says hes confused and I'm getting mixed signals from him. He says he loves me still but doesn't  explain even when I ask to be straight with me. I worry also that we private rent and all the debt we have between us. It's not thousands of pounds but where do I go to live. He has the same problem. Cant imagine us having to live in the same house like this. Just can't stop crying. My heart is breaking.  Didnt expect my life to pan out like this at nearly 50. I've read that 7 out of 10 relationships end in divorce due to cancer as the men can't handle it.