There's no time limit on grief ... you put it all away in the corner of your mind and thought you were o.k .. trouble is it always comes tumbling out at some point ... 

You need to see your G P and ask them for help and councilling... you need to talk it all out ... you can always vent / chat and just put down feelings ... it does help , just writting it all down ... 

Your not alone... many on here have lost loved ones .. I lost both my parents in my 30s... and still have a few tears 30 years on ... still miss them .. but try to make them proud more then anything .. but I've learned to never hide feelings away .. go with them , feel them .. understand them ... acknolage them .. then move on ... but it takes being able to give your self permission to feel whatever you need to ..

Sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x