Hi cat77dog

Most carer's have to be sorted by a doctor or High up medical for macmillan or Marie curie, I'm afraid i don't know how long it takes, if you want social services carers it can take months to arrange, private is quicker but costs a lot more,, hope this helps, please don't take this wrong but has you father sorted out funeral arrangements there's been a few on forum nothing been sorted and then there's problems with hues going to pay, sorry if this upsets you not trying to be nasty, hope things get sorted soon best wishes. Billy 

Hi there ..

I'm so with you, when my dad was really poorly and was being incontinent,  I couldn't change him, because he was my dad, and would have hated that ... I'd want that same dignity to as I have son's.. and it would be my worse case sinario for them to clean me ..

Your dad sounds so poorly too, if I were you, I'd tell the hospital staff etc I wouldn't cope at home .. and if it were me in your dad's place, I'd want a hospice where they look after us 24/7 and it will take all the pressure off you .. they cannot send him home if you refuse to care .. you sound like your close to breaking ... you must think of yourself now .. it DOESN'T mean you love him less .. in fact you must care loads to come on here ... don't let them bully you ... and I'm sure your dad would be happier in a hospice once he gets there .. then you can have quality time with the time left .. 

Sending you a vertual... Chrissie x

Hi Billy. Ive told everyone in hosp that I don’t want to

go back and be dads carer, I want to be his daughter now, and it’s like no one believes me, tried to bully us into accepting morning and night visits!!! what good is that to my dad, I’m furious,  so now social worker being assigned & we will see what they bring to the table. It’s so upsetting for us as a family, he’s paid all his taxes and National

Ins all his working life and when he needs something It’s a waiting game!!! Trying to stay positive but it’s very hard. 

Hi Chrissie, dad understands how I feel, like he said he has lost all his dignity independence etc, he lost his dad the same way sadly and knows what’s coming. I will be finding out who is the social worker and try and have a meeting to find out what’s going on. Dads also  incontinent aswell and needs help with toilet and changing! 

If I can find out what’s available or not for my dad, and then find out costs for carers, then we can sit and discuss funds!! And apply for funding towards carers in the home. But no one offers help or information, it’s bloody terrible. 

We are farmers and like he said to Consultant, I wouldn’t see an animal suffer they way he is going to, bless him