How do I explain it to the kids?

Hi everyone 

so my mum in law has had a diagnosis of Esophageal cancer, she has been in hospital for 2 weeks but is being sent home as no more can be done medically to help her

I was just wondering the best way to explain it to my children they are 10 & 8, they both know that nanny is very poorly but I don’t know how to prepare them for what’s coming..I don’t know where to start or how to explain it

thanks everyone 

  • Hi there ..

    I'm pretty sure I remember McMillan had books on how to let children know about these things ... but on a personal note , my granddaughter knows about my cancer ... and was as cose as you can get ... I found gentle honesty is the best way for everyone ... she knew the Drs were taking my boob ... because it was making nanny poorly ... and when she asked me if I was going to die... I told her if I did I'd be the little star next to the bright one as that's my mum's star ... and I'd look down on her every night and she could look up at me ... she was 7 then ... 

    I find with gentle honesty and not too much detail , they are amazing ...  and have the ability to cry and 10 minutes later... their off on something else .. that's what I did too when my mum died suddenly from a heart attack ... and think my son was content and coped really well ...

    Chrissie xx

  • Hi there. I think  Chriss is right about the gentle honesty. When my Mum was dying my children were 5 & 7 so just a little younger. I think I told them that Gran was very poorly and it was making me feel really sad and one of them just asked me if she was going to die and I said yes, the doctors think she will but it’s hard to know when. Of course it was difficult but not as much as I expected.

    It’s hard to have to do that when you’re so upset yourself. Good luck with talking to them.

  • Thank you so much for your reply, it’s so difficult and as a 40 year old who still has all of her grandparents and not experienced any loss of this kind I’m struggling..I will look into McMillan and see if I can source something from there.

    thanks again