Hi sorry about your dave I'm in oppersit(sorry about spelling) position my wife is 14 years older than me, I'm non curable C, we always thought" Brenda "would go first, she needs 24 /7 care I'm doing everything for her as I promised all those years ago, but I'm struggling to now and again as C progress but trying to keep to what I said, I have arranged carers incase something happens, to me and funeral all sorted, I understand how you feel things go completely haywire and nothing we do can put it right again sorry about dave.... Billy 

Thank you for your kind reply Billygoat and I'm really sorry to hear about your non-curable C and also your wife.  Even though I've been on this forum for such a short time it really has helped me - I don't feel so alone now.  I hope you don't mind me asking, I'm not meaning to pry into your personal affairs as you seem such an organised man but have you completed a will?  It can cause such a lot of problems if you haven't (even if you don't have children).

God Bless x

Hi, yes everything sorted same week I found i had cancer I sorted will and all funeral arrangements thought I'd save all the hassle and fighting about things after wards, if you think I'm organised thank you I'm not normally I think C changed my outlook, I usto do things on a whim, so there's been some good come out of it, just thinking maybe [@marj58]‍ would pop to see you we call her the professor, she sleeps a lot never know when she'll pop over warning though when she starts writing she takes some stopping, again sorry about dave, best wishes. Billy

P.s there are others hopefully will notice your string and reply, 

Hi I am really sorry to hear about your husband Dave, I hope you do not mind me asking. Have they given him a prognosis on time. I ask that because I have metastatic lung cancer. It’s in my blood, I also have a tumour in my thyroid. After my initial diagnosis the dread C I had the upper left lobe of  my lung removed in October 2012.Everyone thought it had been contained in that part of the lung. I had adjuvant chemotherapy. By April 2013 I was told I was in remission. However I was due to have a scan in December 2013. I had a open appointment. As well has my set one. I used my open one to get to see oncologist sooner than the December. I had a CT scan in September 2013. Only to be told my right lung and the boy I had on the left where a total mass of tumours. Obviously I had another biopsy to confirm. Not a lot of hospitals do a further biopsy. How ever my oncologist did. So yes there it was back with avengence. I literally was given 6/8 months with palliative treatment. Just under half without. I had a drug, on the second round I pulled out. It almost killed me. However I did have a partial response. Since then. Something really strange happened. Over a 2 year period it apperd my body somehow destroyed the remainder cancer. Much to everyone’s shock, supriise. I was then asked if my notes could be used for teaching and research. Because I was such a unusual case. Bloods be sent to 3 different places abroad and some kept back for cancer research uk. Apparently the only thing that can be agreed upon was I should not actually still be here. I should have died. Yet no one can understand why I didn’t, why I am still here. It came back in 2017 November. I started immunotherapy. It was a brand ew one. That had only been approved on the Monday for so many on NHS, I was the first person to have this new drug. However after 7 months of constant sleeping, I gave it up despite having had another brilliant response. I said may this year. I can not do anymore treatment, I was tired and quality of live wasn’t good, I also seem to have a advers reaction to treatment. Yet here I am still 6 years after I should have passed away. Totally baffling the oncologist and everyone else. There was only one thing I did differently to a lot of people. That was I didn’t cry, I didn’t say why me. When I was told 6/8 I said sorry no can do it’s inconvenient I have places to go and people to see. I also said if cancer wants a fight then it better be prepared for one. Because I would give it the biggest fight it’s ever had. My sister was in tears. I jumped up and said come on you, you can stop that now. I do not intend to go anywhere. Again here I am still fighting, not prepared to give up, despite it being in my blood and everything. No just not damn well ready to go. I know it may sound daft. Yet seriously I genuinely do not intend to go anywhere. Yet. Cancer can go to hell. I have every intentions of staying around for awhile yet. Now it’s rather strange because my brother was diagnosed with it 5 months prior to myself. He was given 6/12 months. I honestly thought he would have had the same attitude as myself. However he fell apart. He passed away 12 months and 12 days after being diagnosed. He was 4 years younger than I was he passed away a couple of months after his 51st birthday. We both actually had the same oncologist. He told us it was a genetic cancer. No other cancer ever in both sides of our family. Because my brother and I wher two of seven children. We where told it would be better for the rest of the siblings to be tested. As we all know the earlier they found cancer the more chance of a better prognosis they have. Yet almost every sibling said they would rather not know. Now another brother has been diagnosed. I actually did the same as Billy once I was given the 6/8 months even though I said it was inconvenient. I did go update my will and I arranged and paid for my funeral. Well unfortunately the funeral directors still have a long wait ahead of them. I had this philosophy from day one. I actually do believe in the power of possativety. Can help with some people. I certainly believe it’s definitely helped me. Again I am really truly sorry about your husband Dave. You are definitely on the right site for support, especially with people like billy goat telling everyone I can certainly write away their. Yes I am Marj or should I say @marj58... Thank you Billy. Coming to write to you now. Please feel free to contact me. And I am sure billygoat too at any time m. Best wishes Marj xxxx

Hi. I’m so sorry to hear about your Dave. I’m sat in the spare bad at 5.26am while my wonderful husband James is in our bed, finally getting a good nights sleep as he has had morphine.  The pain of watching him be so ill breaks my heart, I think of all the things we are not going to be able to do. Just before he became ill I was lecturing him that we needed to make more memories together as he was always working and I would go on hols with friends etc. I don’t know how I will keep going, I don’t think I will be able to. This has all happened in a few weeks. James is only 50 and I am 49. We should have another 30 years. I’m so sorry I’ve been no use to you at all. It’s just not fair