Hello Mick_O, 

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am so sorry to hear about your wife and how chemotherapy has affected her and that by day four of the treatment she has had to be hospitalised. It must be really hard for you to watch and I am sure she very much appreciated your support and you being by her side at a time when she needs it the most. 

I hope you will hear from some of our members here who have also supported a loved one who has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, who have like you been in this situation when it all hits you at a time when you were thinking of winding down. It helps to talk to other carers who know exactly what you are going through having been there themselves.

It is also important during this time of turmoil and intense emotional pressure not to forget to look after yourself as this will in turn help you to care for your loved one. You can read more about this on this page. 

We're all here for you anytime you need to talk. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Unfortunatly my wife passed away to night.

I realy am so sorry, some people say better place and i tend to agree but my brother is stage 4 and im not letting him go. Bowel Cancer and then lung, now brain and starts Radiotherapy tommorow. Praying for us all and so sorry for your loss.

Very sad. I wish you the very best at this terrible time. Harry

Hi Mick, it's so hard going through this as I know, I'm dealing with stage 4 lung cancer in my husband.  We also were looking to spending quality time together but the rug was pulled from under our feet also.  I have taken it one day at a time, good days we enjoy, bad days we accept as fighting against it wastes time and energy, which  you need for the good days!  Make time for you, don't feel guilty, if she's doing OK pop for a drink or have a chat with friends.  If you are together 24/7 it's unbearable and tempers fray.  If you feel you are going to say something unkind, count to ten, bite your tongue and if she's being horrible to you, just walk into another room, it's the illness causing frustration and anger and the old saying that you take it out on your nearest and dearest is never so true when cancer rears its ugly head.  Write your thoughts down, get it out of your head so it doesn't go round like aworm.  That's what I did Mick, and nearly three years on I'm still writing, here if you need help. Carol