Hi Karyn,

How was your phone consultation? I have been thinking of you and  hoping it was just standard procedure. I totally understand your state of mind, your imagination works overtime with all the uncertainty. I'm excactly the same.

I asked to see the Surgeon next friday so my appointment will be face to face. I can't pretend I'm not nervous as everytime I think I know what will be said, I always seem to get a surprise.

I hope today's phone chat has put your mind at rest and once your breast op is all done and dusted you can start living your life again

Take care of yourself and don't feel bad for having dark thoughts, it happens to us all.

Sending love and hugs,

Sue

Hi Sue,

Thanks for thinking of me yesterday, it's been a difficult few weeks recovering from surgery and I think my emotions have been all over the place; partly possibly through the loss of hormones now the ovaries have been removed and I think also because it's like reliving the breast experience again and dealing with more oncologists.

I'm healing well physically but mentally not great and my gp is trying to sort out counselling again because that finished at the end of March and they still aren't doing face to face contact so it will just be telephone talk which I'm not sure about.

Anyway some good news, my surgeon rang later than expected and the relief I felt when he said the ovaries and tubes were clear was amazing and it was like I could slowly start to breathe again!

It still hasn't registered to be honest but there were no signs of inflammation, abnormal cells or malignancy.

They test a sample of perionatal water around the abdomen and the time of surgery and it all gets sent away to be analysed.

They have discharged me now and said they dont need to see me again which is a huge relief!

I think it was my breast oncologist that had me in a negative frame of mind after my telephone consultation last Monday as she wasn't interested in hearing anything about the surgery other than histology results which I only have just received.

Its frustrating that these hospitals dont copy her in on anything and just copy in my gp! 

I'm so pleased you have managed to arrange a face to face with your oncologist as it's just not the same over the phoned and at least it will put your mind at ease.

Please write out a list of questions beforehand as it really does help on the day.

I'm sure you will be fine but I know you will be worrying about it until the day.

I've just been trying to keep busy without exhausting myself too much post surgery.

I will chase my breast surgeon up in September as if I dont keep on nothing will get done I'm sure.

Try and have a relaxing weekend with a few glasses  of wine.

It's a shame the weather has changed and it's been blustery all day here.

Take care Sue and will be thinking of you next Friday.

Be strong 

Big hugs

Karyn xx

Hi karyn,

I'm so pleased you got good positive news from your Surgeon now you can breathe again. It's good you will start counselling again, your hormones will of course play a huge part in how you are feeling. Friends and family try to be kind but have no idea how terrified we feel. 

My appointment next week is with my surgeon, not my oncologist but I still feel anxious.

I strongly recommend you take up wine drinking, not to excess but it's definitely been my saviour.

I know you'll chase up your surgery in September, it will be a huge relief to get it all over with. 

Treat yourself, you have been so amazingly strong so far and you will beat cancers butt for sure.

Sending loads of love,

Sue xx

Hi Sue 

Yes it sure was a huge relief to get the good news from my surgeon regarding the ovarian surgery after a stressful two week wait.

I don't think it has really sunk in yet after all the bad news I have had to deal with over the last 18 months but it was a huge relief to get that surgery out of the way and to receive negative results and yes I can slowly begin to breathe again.

Unfortunately for me I have had such negative comments from family members that it really hasn't helped with my anxiety about any of this.

My father who I have never seen eye to eye with just said to me 'Oh ok your clear now let's hope it stays that way'! buy he never rings me and is always so negative, and my oncologist makes me feel the same!

My mums half sister is completely blinking me because she knows people and has family been waiting longer than me for surgery and thinks its disgraceful that I have been done before those she knows and mine was only elective!

None of these people have no idea of thd daily torment I have endured and to what extent it has all disrupted my life!

I'm seriously considering your suggestion about the wine later Sue, if certainly cant do any harm the odd glass.

Sorry I meant to say good luck with your surgeon on Friday, I dont know why I said oncologist!

I hope it all goes well for you and you will feel much more reassured about things seeing him in person.

Hope your enjoying your weekend even though the weathers not great.

I'm just having a quiet one with the kids and trying to recover from my surgery.

Big hugs

Karyn xxxx

Hi Karyn,

Don't take any notice of negative people. Your Dad and Mum's half sister should be ashamed of themselves. Even before I got diagnosed, I was really sympathetic to others. Your surgery is not elective! If you didn't have it, you would still be at high risk. Your Oncologist deals with cancer day in and day out so to him it's just procedure but to us it's an ongoing nightmare. Surround yourself with friends that keep your spirits up, they do say that laughter is the best medicine.

I hope you had a good weekend. I am hoping to go to Portugal on the 7th September now that Portugal is on the safe list of countries to visit. I don't feel confident flying due to Covid but after the year from hell I've had I need a break.

Look after yourself, you are still recovering.

Sending hugs,

Sue xxx

Hi Ladies,

Sorry to hear that Karen, some people are just Sh*ts!  Well said Sue, couldn't of said it any better. Its like they blame you for getting cancer and there must be something you have done wrong.  They are ignorant so focus on people that support you.  So glad to hear your results came back all clear yay! :)

Sue, ah that would be awesome if you can go away.  I know it changes every week, I have friends in the south of france that will need to quarantine when they get back. Such a worry for us but we also need to look after our mental health and if having a break is what is needed then do it :)

I woke up this morning feeling out of sorts.  Weird feeling like a big cloud over my head.  I only got out of bed at 11am!  Feeling bit better now and focusing on my mini to do list.  I'm finding the days are just flying by and sometimes I cant keep up.

My achey knees and hips are better now.  My knees just ache when I try to stand up if a squat down.  So hopefully that should improve if i loose weight and build muscle again in me legs! I did go for an early walk on the beach on saturday with my friend at 6am.  Was beautiful and peaceful.  Enjoyed it although felt a tad zonked the rest of the day. 

How you ladies feeling otherwise?  I've signed up to do a course online as the moving forward course isn't avaialble yet.  Not quite the same as I would rather chat to people face to face but its a start. I'm logging into work every day just to check emails etc and catch up on what is happening in the business.  I noticed i get tired very quickly looking at the screen, so good I'll be doing a phased return.  Still waiting to hear from occupational health for my review, hopefully this week. 

Hope you ladies are all ok otherwise.

Big hugs

xxx

I had bone cancer in my leg last year so wasn' good for me but keep a positive attitude all the way through your treatment it helps your soul and I'm now in remission

Hi Sue,

Just wanted to say will be thinking of you today when you see your surgeon, and so pleased you managed to arrange this face to face rather than over the telephone as it will hopefully make you feel less anxious this way.

Personally I have been finding telephone appointments and reviews very frustrating but it seems to be all thats on offer at the moment!

When I last spoke to my oncologist a few weeks ago she didn't even have any copy of my results or anything I'd had done since February and so I felt no other option but to take copies and send them to her but it's very frustrating to have had to do this and doesn't give one confidence in the system!

You are so right about avoiding negative people Sue as my father for example never rings me and when I do ring him I always say to myself 'Why did I bother ?'

Hes never given me any support all through my journey and has just exacerbated my fears really so I am trying hard to just avoid any contact.

As for my mums half sister she I think is just resentful that I had my surgery before her daughter who has been waiting over a year for a non urgent gynae problem but nothing at all to do with cancer!

I only want to be around people who make me laugh and smile because as you say laughter is the best medicine and I cant afford for any more negativity to hinder my recovery now.

I think its fantastic that your hopefully planning a trip to Portugal on 7th September Sue as its exactly what you need right now after the hellish year you've had and you so deserve it after all you've been through.

Just forget your fears about Covid and flying and just go for it.

You will no doubt come back invigorated and it will be like a tonic for you just to get away!

We were going to go to France and had it all arranged but had to cancel because of the quarantine and the kids would have missed the first few days of school.

Hope you have a great bank holiday weekend Sue whatever your plans.

Take care & big hugs xxxx

Karyn

Hi Mich,

Hope you are feeling better and thanks for your positive comments about all these negative people bringing me down.

I'm trying to get the inner strength to just slowly distance them from my life because they never have anything positive to say some people!

Even when I was undergoing counselling mg counsellor used to say 'who is that critical voice in your head'? and it was my father.

I hope you are feeling more energised now after a weird few days.

I still find on some days it takes me so long to get focused and do things and its probably because like you we are just expecting too much too soon as regards our recovery and need to allow ourselves more time after what we've been through as our bodies have really been through the mill!

I think you just need to try and do some gentle exercise each day without trying to exhaust yourself as that will just set your recovery back.

The 6am walk along the beach with your friend sounded wonderful with not a soul around and so peaceful.

I was looking at that Moving Forward course myself but the online aspect put me off because like you I would rather do face to face interaction, however if you think it would help you you have nothing to lose sf all.

My counselling got stopped back in March due to the pandemic and has still yet to resume face to face and although I have been offered telephone appointments I would rather resume face to face.

It's great you are doing a phased return as regards work and I'm sure you will feel tired to begin with which is why you must listen to your body and rest when you need to.

We will all get there in the end it will just take time and for now we must just find the new normal for us and say to ourselves we we wont always be like this!

Lack of sleep is one of my concerns at the moment as I'm getting less than half the recommended amount thd gp said and she wants to prescribe medication but I worried about it being addictive.

Worries just keep md awake and when I wake I dont feel refreshed at all to really face the day.

Hope you have a nice bank  holiday weekend planned but dont think the forecast is looking good though and typical bank holiday weather!

I cant believe my kids have been off school 5 months now and it will be a shock to the system when they start back at school on Thursday.

I'm usually  so organized but have left uniform to the last minute and they all have shoe fittings later.

Take care  & big hugs 

Karyn xxxx

Ladies hope you're all ok, Linda, Carla and anyone I've missed.

Claire I expect you're busy moving or have moved by now maybe! Hows your little one liking nursery?

Davia - always in my thoughts, hope treatment is being kind to you xxxx

Hi Tom364

That's great news and it's always encouraging for all of us to hear stories such as yours.

Keeping a positive attitude is definitely the key and I always try to do that myself even though at times it's hard.

I wish you all the best.