Hi Sue,

My cold has virtually gone now thank heavens although I do feel very tired because of very poor sleep and like you the gp doesn't want to give me any further tablets because they can cause addiction problems.

I can imagine how stir crazy you must have felt during self isolation but at least that's come to an end for you now and hopefully you can fill your time with lots of things you've missed doing over the last fortnight!

Shame the weather has turned so foul and looks set for worse to come.

I had my appointment on 1st with my lovely breast plastics consultant and he said he had been given some dates for November and has put me on the elective waiting list again.

He said if I preferred he could do early next year if that suited.

The problem is is that Covid still dictates everything and he cant give a date as yet.

I was also told that if a lady with active cancer is bought to his attention then I would be put back again which is understandable but again hard emotionally with waiting again.

My oncologist made a brief appearance and said they haven't appointed a breast surgeon to even do the double masectomy yet because nobody from my hospital seems keen to travel to the hospital where my plastics consultant works to do the surgery.

He said if this continues and that cant find anyone then he will try and appoint a surgeon from his hospital to  carry out the surgery.

My oncologist also added to my fears by saying that having this surgery wont prevent the cancer returning somewhere else in the body and since she said that I have experienced more problems with anxiety.

The surgery and reconstruction is a 14 hour operation and they will use fat from my back as opposed to my stomach because of the fact that I have a weak abdominal wall from past surgery to the abdominal area with caesarean sections etc.

I want to have the operation but am feeling scared of being put out for long and worry about not waking up and how long my recovery will be as well as the practical side to as I dont have many people that are able to support me as they mostly all have so many commitments themselves.

I find bras very uncomfortable since previous surgery because my breasts are different sizes and the left one points to the left and obstructs my arm when it catches sometimes.

I just want to be able to move on somehow but there still feels so much ahead of me right now which I just have to deal with somehow.

I dont like being a burden with all my negativity and try to rise above it where possible and not to let my worries  beat me down.

Take care  & enjoy your weekend 

Big hugs xxxxx 

Karyn  xxxxx

Hi Mich

My colds much better now thanks.

I had my appointment face to face yesterday which was so much better than over the telephone and all your concerns can be dealt with there and then whereas over the phone I just find it all very rushed!

Its really a question of just waiting for a date and the plastics consultant has put me back on to the elective waiting list but said that Covid still dictates everything and also if they get a patient with active cancer then they will obviously take priority over me.

It's all still a waiting game but out of my hands really.

I hope your return to work goes ok on Wednesday.

I'm sure you will feel tired at first but hopefully when you get back into your old routine it will become easier.

Hows your couch to 5k going?

Sorry to hear about your mum.

It must be hard  for you with her being so far away but as Sue said shes in the best place so try not to worry.

Good luck with the Moving Forward  course  too.

I find things like that very hard to do online and much prefer face to face but know that's not an option right now.

Take care & enjoy your weekend 

Big hugs xxxxx

Karyn xxxxx

Hi Karyn,

I'm glad your cold is gone, it makes you feel so grotty. I would op to have the opp asap, covid isn't going anywhere fast. I know the opp won't stop the cancer rearing it's ugly head anywhere else but at least you won't get it back in your breast. We all worry we won't wake up after an opp but just look at how many they do every day successfully. We are watched so carefully whilst under anesthesia so try not worry. It's a shame you don't have a good support network, I wish I lived nearer. 

Sending loads of love your way,

Sue XXX

Hi Mich, and ladies, 

I'm at this moment in hospital with a dvt in leg and one on chest, there giving me injections to break it up but it will be long haul. 

I feel I need to leave you ladies, you have enough stress anxiety about ops and reacurance, you really don't need to hear mine, I know your all lovely and say stay but I think it's best I don't, we're on different paths and mine is a path your all dreading, just like I dredded it before transferring over to it. 

I really wish you all the very best, and all the luck in the world that you have all beaten this gross disease. 

Keep well 

Love to you all, and thank you ️ ️ ️ ️ 

Hi Davia

Sorry to hear you are in hospital, I guess it will be for a few days whilst they break up the DVT.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this, just seems so unfair.  I'll respect your wishes but please know that I do still want to hear how you are doing and do worry about you as you have been such a supportive part of our group.  The worry will always be there but chatting to you doesn't make it worse for me. 

I really hope they get it under control and no doubt your family and friends are supporting you through this time. 

If you dont mind I'll still send you messages now and again, you dont have to reply.  But please know I think about you often.

Big hugs xxx

Oh Davia I'm so sorry you have this additional crap to deal with. I've previously had a blood clot in my lung but not at the same time as b****y cancer!

Wishing you so much love and luck in fighting all of this. I would love to hear from you still but you have to do what is right for you xxx

Hi Davia,

I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. You are always in my thoughts.

If you don't feel like posting in this group then that's absolutely fine but please don't stop posting for our sakes. We have become like a little family which you are part of. I feel like I know you all as we have been chatting for so long.

We will of course respect your feelings but I hope to hear from you every now and then.

Im sure you are getting excellent care in hospital 

Sending so much love your way,

Sue xxx

Dear Davia, 

You are beyond brave, you have to do what is right for you, but please know you are in all of our thoughts every day. Hopefully you will get the dvt sorted soon and carry on with your treatment. I'm sure I speak for us all when I say we're here for you. Sending you much love and prayers ️ ️ ️Xxx

Hiya Mich, 

hope you're well, how is your mom doing? And how is work going? I'm working from home luckily could get used to it. 
 

 karyn, sue, Claire, Linda and anyone I might have forgotten, love and prayers to you all xxx