Hey Jan, 

Yes, I remember you and thank you for your lovely message. Your daughter is inspiring, I follow her too on Instagram, love her fashion! How is she doing with chemo? Hope she is recovering OK after the opp. 

My scar has healed OK, just a bit if fluid under my arm which can take a few more months still. I do stretching to help. My rads burns are all gone now too! Just my fitness level is err up the creek

I finally plucked up the courage to post a before n after pic. I know when I was on chemo I would look at those as an inspiration that I would finally get there!

Sue, how are you holding up? Hope you are managing OK. Thanks, I got a new prosethic on Monday, this one is smaller and actually fits in my bra just takes a bit of getting used to.

Claire, aww sounds like you a still juggling loads. Where abouts are u moving to? Sorry you found another lump, I really hope it is just scar tissue. How long do you have to wait for results?

Davia, hope the treatment is being kind to you and not making you feel ill. Sending big hugs. 

I'm away at the mo, escaped for a few days before back to work next week. Today I went exploring in Dartmoor! Err walked up one wee hill and that was me for the day It did start pouring hard and then for rest of the day so just went driving through the countryside instead. 

Ladies, Karen, Carla, Linda, hope you are all OK. 

Big hugs xx

Hi Ladies,

My sister in law passed away on 1st August and I'm absolutely devastated, the funeral in on 14th.

Mich, I'm glad you managed to get away, have a lovely time. You certainly deserve it.

Claire, where are you moving to? I'm so sorry you have the stress of waiting for more results but hopefully you are right and it's only scsar tissue. let us know when you get the results.

Jan, how is your daughter getting on?

Karyn, Carla and Linda, I hope you are all doing ok? Karyn, any dates for surgery yet?

Davia, I hope you are coping ok and not suffering too many side effects.

Love and hugs to everyone,

Sue xxx

Sue I'm so very sorry, that is so sad x

I'm moving back to my house in Wokingham, been staying with my parents in Kent since I got back to the UK in Feb.

Hi Ladies,

I'm writing to you all from my hospital bed believe it or not!

Long story short but had a phone call earlier in the week that the Salpingo  - oophorectomy had been scheduled in for a private hospital funded by the NHS which is Covid free.

Before being admitted today I had to have a Covid test which was negative and all my bloods done to be deemed fit for surgery.

Hospital were desperate to fit me in before the anticipated second wave as I was told I could be waiting years if they lockdown everything again and I couldn't cope with that mental torture.

It almost didn't happen today as my BP has been through the roof because of white coat hypertension because of post traumatic stress from previous  admissions and bad treatment.

There were no complications with the surgery and because of a recent intentional 3 stone weight loss the surgery was done keyhole and as far as I no there were no abnormalities.

It's such a great hospital here I have decided  to let the kids dad have them this weekend and for once put myself and my body first.

If there is one thing this journey has taught me its that we must all put our health before our jobs or anything.

I've always been bad at putting myself first but I'm determined to change that now.

I will stay in one night cos I'm in no state to leave right now and in pain plus the temptation for me to get home and start tackling chores is too great!

Sue I'm so sorry to hear about your sister in law.

She sounded such a brave lady like my mum who fought to the bitter end, may her soul rest in peace and I pray you find the inner strength to get through this time.

I'm glad to hear hubby is no longer at risk of redundancy now.

Please dont rush to find a job if possible.

I so want you to heal your body and mind first.

I'm anxious to get back too but I know I couldn't contemplate it right now.

Mich I'm sorry to hear about your cousin, it's such a shame and also the  fact shes so far away too.

I'm happy you have taken a break away because you so deserve after all you've been through and you are a great source of support for us all; completely selfless you are Mich.

As regards aches and bones there isn't much we can take because unlike the hormone fuelled  breast cancers where ladies take tamoxifen and other hormone drugs which can affect their bones we dont have this problem with triple negative and I'm certain it's just a question of being more patient with ourselves.

Like Sue and you I too struggle with daily issues in that I feel I should be grateful I'm still here!

Davia how are you? I think about you often, brave lady that you are x

Claire I'm glad your moving back home but sorry you have found a lump and pray it's just scar tissue.

Keep your chin up and great you have found a nursery for your little one.

I have my breast oncologist by telephone on Monday  10th as face to face still not being offered.

I sill have to make notes about when my next review with plastics will be as that will be a major op to prep for in the hopefully not too distant future.

Linda, Carla and anyone  I've missed love to all and hope you're all ok xxxxx

Big hugs and stay strong  xxxxx

Claire that's fantastic, what a huge relief for you!

Best of luck with your move and little ones nursery.

This is the best hospital I've been in as so peaceful.

I hope my breast surgery can be done here too.

They are all lovely people.

Take care 

Big hugs

Karyn xxxx

Hi Karyn,

I'm so glad you have had your op, it sounds like a lovely hospital. Will you have your breast surgery at the same hospital? Now you must concentrate on recovering. It must be a huge weight off your mind and hopefully you won't have to wait too long for your next surgery. Well done on your incredible weight loss, that's some achievement! I will have to go job hunting soon but not just yet. My husband has been on 80% salary since April and I have no income but I know there are others in a worse position so I can't complain. 

Claire, I am so please your biopsy came back clear. The stress must have been unbearable. Good luck with your house move, will you move back to the UK permanently? It sound like you have a good support network which is a huge help.

Mich, how's it going? are you looking forward to going back to work? I need something to focus on as my mind isn't always kind to me and I often have horrid morbid thoughts. 

Davia, how are you coping?

Love to all,

Sue xxx

Hi Sue

I'm lying on my hospital bed thoroughly exhausted from a bad night.

It was so peaceful here but I couldn't sleep much because of the terrible pain in my shoulders and tummy.

I naively thought that as there were no complications and nothing visibly obvious after everything had been removed then that was that part all done and dusted but I was told everything must be sent off for a biopsy which may take 2 weeks or more because of Covid.

They have to do this after every OP as they run the risk of being sued  otherwise.

It's just more waiting and trauma for me still to bear and thank goodness for diazepam is all I can say.

My breast op wont be at this hospital I know that for certain but it's nowhere near finalised yet and cant see it being fitted in before Jan / Feb at the earliest; zim due a review on in Mid September but will ask my oncologist when she does my telephone appointment on 10th August.

I would seriously wait until your head is in a better place before thinking of going back to work as all your fears will come across at the interview.

Have you tried counselling or a breast cancer moving forward course as Mich suggested?

I was considering it myself but Covid cancelled my local one and they could only offer sn online course instead.

Take care in this heat and hope the wines flowing in abundance lol.

Big hugs

Karyn xxxx

Hi Karyn,

You have been through a real ordeal and your body will take time to heal. Try not to worry about the results as you say it's the usual procedure but yep more unwanted stress. It's pretty unbelievable that you wont be having your breast op this year. No one considers our mental health which can be totally debilitating. Let me know how you get on with your phone consultation tomorrow, hopefully your op might get fitted in sooner. 

How's your tummy and shoulder pain? The shoulder pain could be wind which I know sounds stupid but I was told that often happens after an op. Your tummy has been through trauma so will take time.

Be kind to yourself and give your body time to recover.

Sending you love and hugs,

Sue xxx

Hi Sue,

Hope you have been enjoying the sunshine, it's a gorgeous day out and I'm trying to recuperate in a shady spot in my garden.

I'm still very sore abdominally as to be expected I suppose and my shoulder pain has slightly eased now thankfully which makes things a little more comfortable.

My breast oncologist rang this morning for a telephone review as the hospital are still not seeing patients face to face.

I just found her very negative and the most upsetting thing was she had no idea of anything that I'd had done since February including the results of my Mammogram and Mri!

I'm tired of having this continually happen to me and it certainly doesn't help with managing my anxiety.

She didn't make any positive comments with regards to my weight loss.

She assumed I'd had my ovarian surgery back in April and was asking about the pathology report which of course isn't back yet and its something I can't  focus on right now because of my fears.

She promised to follow up plastics about my breast surgery and then went on to say that until that surgery had been done I am still a high risk for a further tumour!

I just find her to be very negative about everything and she always manages to fill me with more fear

Another thing she said is that she will look into more counselling for me but it wont be face to face because of Covid and social distancing.

I'm doing my best to relax but it's not easy at the moment.

Love and hugs xxxx

Karyn xxxx

Ladies I hope you are all ok enjoying the sunshine and Mich you have great holiday weather ...enjoy!