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Ven62
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Hi I'm new here just joined 

I have leukemia. I was diagnosed in 2009. I got on with life. I worked and never really talked about it. 

I have now gone up to the next stage. OK, I will cope with that but it's my family.

I live with my 86 Yr old mum. I moved in when dad passed as she wasn't coping. 

I have been put on steroids. Oh boy they are strong. My personality has changed. I'm angry, I don't want to be with anyone so I sit in my bedroom. Which is best the way I feel. 

I looked through mum's phone as it had gone wrong. I see she has been moaning about me. Saying hurtful things. She is so miserable. I'm being horrible. She's ashamed of me as I never talked to my brother. And it goes on. I was so hurt we had a big argument. Which we have never done. The family have all gone on her side.They don't understand what I'm going through. I feel so alone.

P

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    Hello Ven62, 

    A warm welcome to our forum and thank you for sharing your story. It must be so hard for you at the moment after having found these messages on your mum's phone. I hope you can manage to work things out with her - you are certainly going through a lot at the moment and I hope that talking here to others who understand what you are going through will be of some help.

    It sounds like the steroids are having an effect on your mood. As you can see on our page here about steroids and leukaemia, steroids can indeed affect your mood and make you feel anxious, more emotional than usual. I think it would be a good idea  to talk to your doctor or nurse if steroids are directly impacting your mood and I am sure they will have some good advice for you on this so that you feel better again. 

    I will now let our members come and share their own experience with you - sometimes it helps you feel less alone to talk to others who have been in the same situation even if they are not a friend or family member. We are all here for you anytime you need to talk. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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