Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 2 replies
  • Views 194 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Dad died this year, and I never struggled till now.

Asg1989
Offline

My dad died this year from leukemia after being in remission the year before, he was 65. I've never really been upset about it, well, not that I show anyone. Now my mum is on her own, she doesn't drive so decided to sell his car, and have put his motorbikes up for sale. But this one particular bike that he loved and I always remember him using is up for sale I don't want to let it go. But I feel guilty as I'm not sure if it's going as mum needs the money, or she doesn't want it to just sit there.. I want to tell her I don't want it to go, but at the same time I don't want her to be struggling financially. I hope this makes sense as I've just written everything that's on my mind.(it's nice in a way to get it off my chest) 

  • Offline

    Hi there, 

    Tell your mum how you are feeling and how important the bike is to you. It's too late when it's gone, but maybe take some photos of it just in case then you always have it with you. 

    It's important to be honest and it's part of grieving, not wanting to let go of things. Ask your mum if you could keep it and tell her why. It's a keepsake. Some have jewellery, some have pictures. For you, it's his bike and that makes it a very important item. It may be one day you are ready to let go of it, but today is not that day. 

    There is no shame in how you are feeling and certainly no embarrassment. For me it's my dad's hankies. 

    Hope this helps.  X

    Mandy. 

  • Offline

    Hi Asg1989, 

     

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in March to lung cancer so I feel I can empathise a little. 

     

    I would just speak to your mum. It's entirely natural to not want to sell the things that you feel hold a connection to your dad. Grief is a difficult thing to process and talking about it is even more difficult! But I think if you explain to get, your mum would understand. 

     

    Plus if you are worried about her financial stability maybe you could help or help find a long term solution.   

     

    Hope this helps

     

    Katie 

     

    Xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.