Hi ,I was dx in jan 17 tn stage 3b with lymph nodes. Saw my gp in may 16 after finding a lump told it was a hematoma. Went back in jan 17 again told the same and that it was def not cancer but sent for scans .had chemo surgery ,chemo hardly touched it so my path results were 45mm lump from 50mm and 7/12 lyphnodes still infected .had radiotherapy to 3 areas.then 6 months of capcitabine finished Feb 18. scans looked clear and life was going ok .in Nov 18 I had hip and slight back pain bone scan in December on 19 th all clear .come end of Jan 19 pain was going down leg gp dx bursitis gave me steroid injection made no difference .but I tried to carry on with daily life was on naproxen and codine .pain was getting worse to the point I was getting bed ridden gp was doing home visits still said bursitis prescribed more meds .by april the pain in both my legs was something I wouldnt wish on anyone .it was all night long I couldn't even walk to the toilet .my mum was sleeping in chair next to bed and I spent my nights screaming into the pillow so my son wouldnt hear .gp just kept prescribing meds .first a and e visit 6 hours of me crying in a corridor them thinking blood clots .I screamed through a hip xray and it took four people and morphin to get me on bed for doppler scan both were clear sent home .week later new gp visited sent me back to a and e phoned my oncology team .again another 6 hour wait then admitted and doped up so I could sleep ,and have MRI was wrapped tightly in a blanket so i couldn't move as i couldn't lie flat .i had a fracture in my back and spinal cord compression was close to paralysed. Ct scan showed nodes somewhere in back of abs and liver mets ...had spinal surgery 10 weeks ago and can hardly walk 5 mins so use wheel chair ...I'm so scared I'm on meds that exhaust me ,just started treatment and already had infection I feel to drained with zero energy to do anything my back is in pain and stif on one side so I cant cook or do anything mums do .feel like my gp messed with my life twice .My mum is 78 and now my carer I have a 14yr old son at home and it breaks me just looking at him as losing me will totally devastate him and he seems to of buried his head in the sand he carrying on as normal,its if we dont talk about it it's not happening I dont think he believes I'm going to die soon ,I saw on paper it said a yr least .I also have a 29yrold who lives away .I'm so scared of dying and leaving my boys
