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Coping...what to expect....help

KEA_
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Hiya,

My mum has been diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal adenocarcinoma. tumours in lungs, liver , lymphnodes ovaries and its all came from the bowels.

17th March 2019 we dropped mum to A&E she had a few pains and things ..they did scans and found tumours...and its been bad  news after bad news.

She was in hospital for 4 weeks...got home for a week or ...got a no for chemo at this stage as she wasnt fit enough...then admitted again for 2 days more scans where done then home for another week then another oncology appt  found out cancer was growing and it was another waot for chemo then another admission for 9 days then home and over this time we were told no to chemo twice over the 9 days at different appts....she wasnt coping st home so I called our nurses out to the house with the GP. and we got referred to a hospice unit. she got a bed straight away and went in on Monday.

I just dont know what to expect now... i know she doesnt have long but it still feels like it isnt happening at the same time. 

Shes very tired..theres blood clots and all happening now in the lungs. 

i know everyones different and every cancer effects people very different,  just lifes been crazy and it all started in March of this year. 

  • Offline

    Hi there  ...

    So so sorry, loosing a parent is so heartbraking ... just take every day you have with her ... hold her hand .. that's what we'd all want ... leave nothing unsaid ... don't hold feelings in .. that helps no one .. it's o.k to feel angry/ sad / or even yell at how unfare life is ..

    There's times when I felt like I was watching a programme on t.v .. and things didn't feel real .. I think it's our brain trying to cope... so just go with your gut ... make every day count ... your right, no one can tell for sure how long .. so just go with the flow .. and my thoughts are with you ...

    Chrissie xx

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thank you.

     

    we havent had any good days since March. which is something im struggling with myself now. we havent had a break.

    mums lost alot of interest in most things, which also makes things a little harder.

     

    i just wish i knew what to expect, what to look out for and if someone could tell me how long we have. 

  • Offline in reply to KEA_

    Hi ...

    Unfortunately no one can be sure how long any one has ... some hold on a lot longer then expected .. some go quicker ... it's just taking everything as and when it comes up ...

    Have you thought of a hospice ... that's what I'd want ... they are the most wonderful places .. where they make the most of every day .. and you can stay as long as you want ... that way you'd get a brake ... as caring 24/7 is too much for any one ...

    And try Marie Currie,  go on their home page ... they are there to support terminally ill patients and their families.... and I think you need someone to chat too ... let those feelings out ... trying to be strong only lasts a while ... then you will be overwhelmed with it all ...

    Sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie xx

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Mum got a place in a hospice and went in this week. im still trying to work so im only there in the evenings but im gona take a few afternoons off to hang out aswell x

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