Hello Ignatia, I am so sorry that this happened to you. I also lost my father and wasn’t there when he passed, even though he died suddenly and without warning. I won’t lie to you and tell you that it gets better immediately. It hurts for a long time, and you find yourself breaking down in the oddest of places. You may find yourself triggered by a perfume when at the mall, or a song, or the shape of a damn pancake that reminds you of her.

Remember, you have a family, a husband who will no doubt stand by you. Please do not push others away, let them in, talk to them. It’s been 7 years since my Baba passed away. So many things I wish I said, and I wish I had more time. You are loved. I don’t know you, but you are loved.  

Thank you Nabs,what you said is all true,I am breakung down without any warning,thanks again for your kind words.God bless