I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like you have been treated very poorly.

I've met with many doctors and nurses who have been similar to yours. I was once told by a nurse that 'if you haven't had sex with a man, you don't need to come for a smear test'. My partner, who recently had her smear, told this to the nurse who carried out her examination and the nurse (who was lovely) was really shocked by this. She told my partner that I should never have been told such a thing and that cervical cancer can occur in all kinds of circumstances (she said that cases of cervical cancer have been found in nuns!)

It's a really awful feeling to have to go to different departments of the healthcare system and repeatedly be made to feel stupid or unworthy. All I can say to you is to keep trying and don't let anyone tell you that you are not deserving. It is clear that the NHS have a long way to go in terms of greater awareness of LGBT support and provision - which is a shame as I have also met many fantastic nurses and doctors who have been super friendly and inclusive. 

I hope that you are able to complete the test soon. I'm very sorry to hear that you lost your mother and can completely understand your heightened sense of anxiety. It sounds like you have been through a lot.

You are perfectly within your rights to demand this test - it's up to the NHS to find a way to deliver on this; leave the stress to them, it's not for you to take on. Don't give up! 

Hello everyone, new to the board but thought I would comment . Yesterday I had my third smear test. Every single one has been an absolute trauma. I'm tall and also seem to have a tilted cervix (which makes it an absolute nightmare to find). My first test was with a GP, she made me bleed and at the end of it said that I needed to have sex more, I felt absolutely mortified. The second was with an amazing nurse, who was very kind to me but once again it was an absolute nightmare and agony to get the sample. I ended up with my fists under my back and bringing my legs up for her to find it . This time was just as painful...same lovely nurse and the same position...my cervix is just that elusive, it takes an age to find it . This time I had to get her to pause at one point as the pain was that severe. I ended up crying on the bed and I honestly felt really pathetic. She was so nice and told me not to feel that way and that I would be surprised how many people struggle like me. I'm glad I've found this thread as now I know truly I'm not the only one. 
anyway just wanted to say keep at it, and if you find someone/ something that works for you make a note of what they did. Just need to wait for my results now, I'm still feeling sore and bruised from yesterday. 
all the best everyone 

Hi

I am delighted to have found this site. I have had notification recently that my smear test is due. I am 55 and have had many tests over the years.  However, the last 2 has been impossible, unbearable and extremely painful.  The one before last I left it 7 years before I plucked up the courage.  However the last one 5 years ago, was uncessful.  The very experienced and lovely nurse tried and when she was uncessfulu, she made another appointment to go to the female GP.  She too was uncessful and I walked away not knowing what to do next.  
So I paid to see a gynachologist privately as the NHS waiting list was too long, who also tried and was unsuccessful.  She put me on medication which was inserting a cream each evening for a period of time which she said would thicken the lining of the woumb. The gynaecologist was able to do the smear, but it was still the most painful experience, which I swore I would not repeat. 
So now the smear test is due again and I am anxious, not sleeping and quite frankly feel sick at the thought. I don't know what corner to turn, what to do or who to speak with.  I want to get the smear done as soon as possible, any advise, guidance or help would be much appreciated.  
 

Thank you

I too am pleased to have found this thread! Hope all you guys above me have found success now! I've had three smear tests now. The first was fine, the second was painful because my muscles were so tense but successful in the end. My third, yesterday, was just quite traumatic and humiliating. The nurse was lovely, but just couldn't insert the speculum in 'properly' so couldn't see my cervix. I don't know what she was doing wrong but to me it felt like the angle was off. After several aborted attempts and what felt like a lifetime she finally gave up and called for someone else. Fortunately the second nurse came in and had the whole thing over and done with in seconds. Whilst it wasn't especially painful it was very uncomfortable. Both nurses were lovely, the humiliation was all in my head because I'd been lying on the table with my goods out for about 20 minutes, I just wanted to get out of there. It would have been nice to have been given some kind of explanation as to why she couldn't find my cervix (I'm not sure it's not entirely straightforward else we'd all just do the rest ourselves haha) as it just left me wondering if there's something 'wrong' with me 

Hi Everyone

I joined today as I needed to find out what went wrong during my smear test yesterday.  It was so very painful that after two attempts I had to call it a day.  I thought my pain threshold was prettty good but it felt like I was being cut. I felt very embarassed especially when the lovely (young) nurse had a Dr prescribe me pessaries and then had a talk with me about my sex life. I am almost 60 years old and went through the menopause in my late forties.  I haven't had a smear test since 2006 because I have always found them uncomfortable but nothing like yesterday.  The thing I don't understand is that due to very frequent eposodes of cystitis I had a hospital appointment a few weeks ago to have a cystocopy.  It was very uncomfortable but I could bear it.  It took me at least a day to get over the burning but that is a symptom I have become used to.  I had a little bit of bleeding yesterday and still have minor discomfort.  I am seriously considering asking that they remove me from the smear test database as there is no way I am going through that again. However, I read somewhere that cystitis can be a symptom of various cancers including cervical - I don't have bladder cancer which was great news.  I do feel a lot better knowing that I am not alone so thank you ladies as I feel better just getting this off my chest.

Hello,

I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through this. I continue to be amazed at the ignorance of some medical staff...a cervical screening and sex life are two very different things! Why they deem it important to have a 'sex education' talk with us is beyond me!!

My advice would be to have the test done with another nurse/doctor. Mine took four different attempts by four different professionals. When I finally had it done, the pain was minimal and it was all over very quickly. Clearly the nurse (who was patient, experienced and respectful) was one of a kind! Don't be afraid to be honest - you have every right to have this test done.

I'm actually going through IVF now and have had to have my embryo transfer under sedation because I'm still traumatised by the pain and embarrassment of my previous cervical screenings! These experiences really do scar you which is such a shame. 

I hope you are able to have the test done soon and find someone patient and kind like I did. I believe that having the test done at different times of the month can also make a difference, alongside changing the size of the speculum. As you've probably read from my earlier post, I needed a 'tall' speculum in the end.

Look after yourself and I hope the healthcare system treats you with more respect in the future xx

Thank you so much for your kind words faded07.  I don't even talk to close friends about my sex life as it is very personal.  Best of luck with your procedure X

So glad I found this thread! 

I just dont don’t know what to do... I’m in my late 20’s and have never had sex (I’m Asexual and have never wanted to, nor is it something I want in the future) perfectly happy without... but my 2 attempts at getting a smear test done has left me feeling like I have to have sex just to be able to get it done? The first GP I went to told me I don’t need to have it done, which feels wrong, and when I opted to have a smear test done 2 years ago the nurse tried to get the device in, struggled for a while (which ended in my crying in pain) then looked st me all confused and asked ‘are you a virgin?’ I said yes and she dropped the exam like a hot potato, saying I couldn’t have it done cos my hymen is blocking my cervix and until I have sex to break it there won’t be any need to have a smear test done?!

i left that second appointment feeling so hurt and confused - why do I need to have had penatrive sex in order to get a test done that, if not to protect my health, will at least ease the worry in my mind.

im in the UK and just don’t know where to turn next. Any help would be very much appreciated! 

You poor thing that is awful.  You are not alone and I am shocked at how many women (even very sexually active ones) have exactly the same problem.  I opened up to a friend, who is in her early 40's and sexually active, she now has her smear tests done at the hospital by a gynecologist under anenthetic.  It works for her and she doesn't like it but can bear it.

Like me, she felt humiliated and in a lot of pain during smear tests but now she can cope with them.  We all have the right to ask for this service.  I have a telephone call with my Dr regarding another issue next week and plan to ask if I can have this.

You DO NOT have to have sex for this to work.  Like me, and many others, you have an issue with the UK standard smear test.  I felt as if a knife had been inserted and had to ask them to stop.  I was sore for 5 days after the appointment and I normally can bear pain.  Call the Dr and arrange an appointment to talk about this or make contact with your local family planning center.  Best of luck . X

It was such a relief finding this thread!

Had an attempted smear test today (my first) which didn't go great and I felt so humiliated that I was close to tears.

Glad to know im not alone and reading other people's stories has helped greatly so thank you x