I've had a similar story. I've only tried one smear test and can't bring myself to try again. The pain was unbearable and the awkward chat around sex with the nurse because I'm a lesbian left me feeling ashamed and embarrassed. I've since had numerous appointments to discuss my 'fear', even being given diazepam but still can't bring myself to try it again. The last discussion I had with a doctor I mentioned a general anaesthetic and she said 'pfft, seems a bit much for a smear'.

How is that supposed to make me feel?

I've now been referred to a Colposcopy team but I feel like they're going to just try again and I don't want that. I just want it done under anaesthetic, I'd even consider having a total hysterectomy. This is ruining my life, not to mention I lost my mum recently to Cancer and the fear and anxiety is heightened because of this. 

It isnt that I don't want a smear test done. It's that I can't tolerate it! 

I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like you have been treated very poorly.

I've met with many doctors and nurses who have been similar to yours. I was once told by a nurse that 'if you haven't had sex with a man, you don't need to come for a smear test'. My partner, who recently had her smear, told this to the nurse who carried out her examination and the nurse (who was lovely) was really shocked by this. She told my partner that I should never have been told such a thing and that cervical cancer can occur in all kinds of circumstances (she said that cases of cervical cancer have been found in nuns!)

It's a really awful feeling to have to go to different departments of the healthcare system and repeatedly be made to feel stupid or unworthy. All I can say to you is to keep trying and don't let anyone tell you that you are not deserving. It is clear that the NHS have a long way to go in terms of greater awareness of LGBT support and provision - which is a shame as I have also met many fantastic nurses and doctors who have been super friendly and inclusive. 

I hope that you are able to complete the test soon. I'm very sorry to hear that you lost your mother and can completely understand your heightened sense of anxiety. It sounds like you have been through a lot.

You are perfectly within your rights to demand this test - it's up to the NHS to find a way to deliver on this; leave the stress to them, it's not for you to take on. Don't give up! 

Hello everyone, new to the board but thought I would comment . Yesterday I had my third smear test. Every single one has been an absolute trauma. I'm tall and also seem to have a tilted cervix (which makes it an absolute nightmare to find). My first test was with a GP, she made me bleed and at the end of it said that I needed to have sex more, I felt absolutely mortified. The second was with an amazing nurse, who was very kind to me but once again it was an absolute nightmare and agony to get the sample. I ended up with my fists under my back and bringing my legs up for her to find it . This time was just as painful...same lovely nurse and the same position...my cervix is just that elusive, it takes an age to find it . This time I had to get her to pause at one point as the pain was that severe. I ended up crying on the bed and I honestly felt really pathetic. She was so nice and told me not to feel that way and that I would be surprised how many people struggle like me. I'm glad I've found this thread as now I know truly I'm not the only one. 
anyway just wanted to say keep at it, and if you find someone/ something that works for you make a note of what they did. Just need to wait for my results now, I'm still feeling sore and bruised from yesterday. 
all the best everyone 

Hi

I am delighted to have found this site. I have had notification recently that my smear test is due. I am 55 and have had many tests over the years.  However, the last 2 has been impossible, unbearable and extremely painful.  The one before last I left it 7 years before I plucked up the courage.  However the last one 5 years ago, was uncessful.  The very experienced and lovely nurse tried and when she was uncessfulu, she made another appointment to go to the female GP.  She too was uncessful and I walked away not knowing what to do next.  
So I paid to see a gynachologist privately as the NHS waiting list was too long, who also tried and was unsuccessful.  She put me on medication which was inserting a cream each evening for a period of time which she said would thicken the lining of the woumb. The gynaecologist was able to do the smear, but it was still the most painful experience, which I swore I would not repeat. 
So now the smear test is due again and I am anxious, not sleeping and quite frankly feel sick at the thought. I don't know what corner to turn, what to do or who to speak with.  I want to get the smear done as soon as possible, any advise, guidance or help would be much appreciated.  
 

Thank you

I too am pleased to have found this thread! Hope all you guys above me have found success now! I've had three smear tests now. The first was fine, the second was painful because my muscles were so tense but successful in the end. My third, yesterday, was just quite traumatic and humiliating. The nurse was lovely, but just couldn't insert the speculum in 'properly' so couldn't see my cervix. I don't know what she was doing wrong but to me it felt like the angle was off. After several aborted attempts and what felt like a lifetime she finally gave up and called for someone else. Fortunately the second nurse came in and had the whole thing over and done with in seconds. Whilst it wasn't especially painful it was very uncomfortable. Both nurses were lovely, the humiliation was all in my head because I'd been lying on the table with my goods out for about 20 minutes, I just wanted to get out of there. It would have been nice to have been given some kind of explanation as to why she couldn't find my cervix (I'm not sure it's not entirely straightforward else we'd all just do the rest ourselves haha) as it just left me wondering if there's something 'wrong' with me 

I too am pleased to have found this thread! Hope all you guys above me have found success now! I've had three smear tests now. The first was fine, the second was painful because my muscles were so tense but successful in the end. My third, yesterday, was just quite traumatic and humiliating. The nurse was lovely, but just couldn't insert the speculum in 'properly' so couldn't see my cervix. I don't know what she was doing wrong but to me it felt like the angle was off. After several aborted attempts and what felt like a lifetime she finally gave up and called for someone else. Fortunately the second nurse came in and had the whole thing over and done with in seconds. Whilst it wasn't especially painful it was very uncomfortable. Both nurses were lovely, the humiliation was all in my head because I'd been lying on the table with my goods out for about 20 minutes, I just wanted to get out of there. It would have been nice to have been given some kind of explanation as to why she couldn't find my cervix (I'm not sure it's not entirely straightforward else we'd all just do the rest ourselves haha) as it just left me wondering if there's something 'wrong' with me