I've had a similar story. I've only tried one smear test and can't bring myself to try again. The pain was unbearable and the awkward chat around sex with the nurse because I'm a lesbian left me feeling ashamed and embarrassed. I've since had numerous appointments to discuss my 'fear', even being given diazepam but still can't bring myself to try it again. The last discussion I had with a doctor I mentioned a general anaesthetic and she said 'pfft, seems a bit much for a smear'.

How is that supposed to make me feel?

I've now been referred to a Colposcopy team but I feel like they're going to just try again and I don't want that. I just want it done under anaesthetic, I'd even consider having a total hysterectomy. This is ruining my life, not to mention I lost my mum recently to Cancer and the fear and anxiety is heightened because of this. 

It isnt that I don't want a smear test done. It's that I can't tolerate it! 

I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like you have been treated very poorly.

I've met with many doctors and nurses who have been similar to yours. I was once told by a nurse that 'if you haven't had sex with a man, you don't need to come for a smear test'. My partner, who recently had her smear, told this to the nurse who carried out her examination and the nurse (who was lovely) was really shocked by this. She told my partner that I should never have been told such a thing and that cervical cancer can occur in all kinds of circumstances (she said that cases of cervical cancer have been found in nuns!)

It's a really awful feeling to have to go to different departments of the healthcare system and repeatedly be made to feel stupid or unworthy. All I can say to you is to keep trying and don't let anyone tell you that you are not deserving. It is clear that the NHS have a long way to go in terms of greater awareness of LGBT support and provision - which is a shame as I have also met many fantastic nurses and doctors who have been super friendly and inclusive. 

I hope that you are able to complete the test soon. I'm very sorry to hear that you lost your mother and can completely understand your heightened sense of anxiety. It sounds like you have been through a lot.

You are perfectly within your rights to demand this test - it's up to the NHS to find a way to deliver on this; leave the stress to them, it's not for you to take on. Don't give up! 

Hello,

I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through this. I continue to be amazed at the ignorance of some medical staff...a cervical screening and sex life are two very different things! Why they deem it important to have a 'sex education' talk with us is beyond me!!

My advice would be to have the test done with another nurse/doctor. Mine took four different attempts by four different professionals. When I finally had it done, the pain was minimal and it was all over very quickly. Clearly the nurse (who was patient, experienced and respectful) was one of a kind! Don't be afraid to be honest - you have every right to have this test done.

I'm actually going through IVF now and have had to have my embryo transfer under sedation because I'm still traumatised by the pain and embarrassment of my previous cervical screenings! These experiences really do scar you which is such a shame. 

I hope you are able to have the test done soon and find someone patient and kind like I did. I believe that having the test done at different times of the month can also make a difference, alongside changing the size of the speculum. As you've probably read from my earlier post, I needed a 'tall' speculum in the end.

Look after yourself and I hope the healthcare system treats you with more respect in the future xx

Thank you so much for your kind words faded07.  I don't even talk to close friends about my sex life as it is very personal.  Best of luck with your procedure X

So glad I found this thread! 

I just dont don’t know what to do... I’m in my late 20’s and have never had sex (I’m Asexual and have never wanted to, nor is it something I want in the future) perfectly happy without... but my 2 attempts at getting a smear test done has left me feeling like I have to have sex just to be able to get it done? The first GP I went to told me I don’t need to have it done, which feels wrong, and when I opted to have a smear test done 2 years ago the nurse tried to get the device in, struggled for a while (which ended in my crying in pain) then looked st me all confused and asked ‘are you a virgin?’ I said yes and she dropped the exam like a hot potato, saying I couldn’t have it done cos my hymen is blocking my cervix and until I have sex to break it there won’t be any need to have a smear test done?!

i left that second appointment feeling so hurt and confused - why do I need to have had penatrive sex in order to get a test done that, if not to protect my health, will at least ease the worry in my mind.

im in the UK and just don’t know where to turn next. Any help would be very much appreciated! 

You poor thing that is awful.  You are not alone and I am shocked at how many women (even very sexually active ones) have exactly the same problem.  I opened up to a friend, who is in her early 40's and sexually active, she now has her smear tests done at the hospital by a gynecologist under anenthetic.  It works for her and she doesn't like it but can bear it.

Like me, she felt humiliated and in a lot of pain during smear tests but now she can cope with them.  We all have the right to ask for this service.  I have a telephone call with my Dr regarding another issue next week and plan to ask if I can have this.

You DO NOT have to have sex for this to work.  Like me, and many others, you have an issue with the UK standard smear test.  I felt as if a knife had been inserted and had to ask them to stop.  I was sore for 5 days after the appointment and I normally can bear pain.  Call the Dr and arrange an appointment to talk about this or make contact with your local family planning center.  Best of luck . X

It was such a relief finding this thread!

Had an attempted smear test today (my first) which didn't go great and I felt so humiliated that I was close to tears.

Glad to know im not alone and reading other people's stories has helped greatly so thank you x 

I had one done this week and still feel sore. I am a virgin and it always hurts more. This was my second time and the DR managed to do it third time lucky. I was so fidgety and first two times I pulled it away because I panicked. My own fault but feel sore and feels scratched. I know it will heal in time. DR was lovely and put me at ease I felt so sorry on her behalf due to me not relaxing.

I had my first one which was unsuccessful and was sore and in pain for a few days too. Was your first 2 unsuccesful too as you put 3rd time lucky??

I hope my next one is successful.

Hi everyone. I've just come back from my second attempt at getting a smear test in a week. A few years ago at my first ever smear test I was told I had a tilted uterus but the nurse managed to get it done after a lot of different positions and what felt like forever. The whole ordeal did put me off and so when I got my letter to tell me I needed to go again I put it off for ages. 
 

I'm now feeling even more anxious after two failed attempts. The nurse is going to refer me to the local hospital because she says they have different equipment and stirrups. She also told me my cervix is "very high up."

I got in my car and just cried. Everyone talks about how quick and easy smear tests are but I actually feel traumatised and now I have the anxious wait of having to go to a hospital. I'm also over weight and so I feel incredibly self conscious. 

What an awful experience and I can totally relate to how you feel.

So glad to have found this page too it just shows how common but a rarely spoken about problem.

Thats brillant news being referred and a nurse that takes notice of her patient rather than fobs you off for a rebook.

Please try not to worry. The equipment will just get you in the right angle and from my experience it was so much less painful all thanks to the table raising feet end.

All doctors surgerys need to cater more for us and to try and make the whole experience less of a trauma. Yes even the having to build yourself back up to go again no one should have to go through that.

Your spot on with how friends and family see a smear test  as they seem to sail in and out of own appoinment with a bit of discomfort.  

We are all beautiful and unique and so are cervix. # tilted brigade

I hope you don't have to wait long for your appointment and please update on how you get on.

Best Wishes

Hi ladies welcome

[@sjh28]‍ I am wondering if you bled with you having a tilted uterus and them trying to locate your cervix? I did it was a lot too.Like you I have been referred to the hospital I go next week will let you know how it goes on, this attempt was my first ever smear so feel really anxious about next week. Good luck with yours.

Hi ladies welcome

[@sjh28]‍ I am wondering if you bled with you having a tilted uterus and them trying to locate your cervix? I did it was a lot too.Like you I have been referred to the hospital I go next week will let you know how it goes on, this attempt was my first ever smear so feel really anxious about next week. Good luck with yours.

Hello sorry no I didn't have any bleeding at all. I was just wondering how your appointment went? I've just had my hospital letter and I'm going next week. I feel sick with nerves.