I am an 81 year old who recently had surgery and then radiotherapy for breast cancer and am waiting for ultrasound appointment to investigate another little lump noticed at my consultant follow-up appointment last week. Obviously I'm anxious but  also realistic. As a retired nurse, living alone and recently widowed,  my strategy is  to keep going, to try and stay positive and active and do things I enjoy, with friends whose company I enjoy.....follow medical advice and cross my fingers!  That doesn't mean though that I don't have dark moments sometimes!  My problem is that I have a son who lives alone and leads a solitary life and wants to help but his long , depressing phone calls drag me down and I really feel less resilient after each conversation. He says he wants to come and stay if it would help but to be honest, much as I love him, I know he would make me more depressed and negative too and limit the time I could spend with supportive friends. I tried to explain this to him but don't want to hurt him and want to help him to cope after I'm gone because, realistically, I'm not going to live for ever even if I get over this OK..I also have two sisters-in-law facing up to possible terminal illness and I try to stay supportive to them. I just want, otherwise,  to surround myself with positive people to help me through the current period but without upsetting my son and making things worse for him. Don't think there is a solution really but ideas welcome!