This is the first time I have posted on here, and I apologise already for the low post but I am in total panic mode. I am awaiting a biopsy carried out on a lump I found inJanuary, but two of my lymph nodes r enlarged so I am obviously thinking the worst. I have four kids my ,youngest is my 17 yr old daughter and all I can think off is leaving them and how their world would be turned upside down and all the things I will miss. My Mum died of ovarian cancer and I remember how badly I was affected by that. My husband is very supportive but I have no life insurance so I feel a failure to them already. I am aware of every little feeling in my body and totally stressed. My results are due tomorrow and in one way I just want to know and in another I want to run away from it all. The worst feeling is waiting on the results and thinking how I will cope if there is nothing they can do. I am giving myself a hard time as I missed a routine mammogram due to work commitments - so stupid on hindsight. My family and friends are saying I need to be positive, which I am normally always positive but I have fallen apart with this fear. I am sorry for writing such a negative post and I know I sound like I am wallowing in self pity, I am just thinking that I will be told the worst tommorw. I am normally upbeat, strong and positive but that has all gone. Sorry just needed to get this out there as having to put a face on in front of my family.
