Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 13 replies
  • Views 1332 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Awaiting results

Marv2002
Offline

This is the first time I have posted on here, and I apologise already for the low post but  I am in total panic mode. I am awaiting a biopsy carried out on a lump I found inJanuary, but two of my lymph nodes r enlarged so I am obviously thinking the worst. I have four kids my ,youngest is my 17 yr old daughter and all I can think off is leaving them and how their world would be  turned upside down and all the things I will miss.   My Mum died of ovarian cancer and I remember how badly I was affected by that. My husband is very supportive but I have no life insurance so I feel a failure to them already.  I am aware of every little feeling in my body and totally stressed. My results are due tomorrow and in one way I just want to know and in another I want to run away from it all.  The worst feeling is waiting on the results and thinking how I will cope if there is nothing they can do. I am giving myself a hard time as I missed a routine mammogram due to work commitments - so stupid on hindsight.  My family and friends are saying I need to be positive, which I am normally always positive but I have fallen apart with this fear.  I am sorry for writing such a negative post and I know I sound like I am wallowing in self pity, I am just thinking that I will be told the worst tommorw. I am normally upbeat, strong and positive but that has all gone.  Sorry just needed to get this out there as having to put a face on in front of my family.  

  • Offline

     

    Hi Marv,

    I am so sorry to hear about all that you are going through, particularly after losing your mum to cancer. I also lost my mum to breast cancer, which metastasised to her liver, lungs, bones and brain at the end. That was 21 years ago. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 9 years and cannot believe the difference in the treatment that we've both had. Fortunately surgery, treatment and after care have all moved forward tremendously and, instead of dying with cancer, people are now living with it.

    I know just how worried you are at the moment - waiting for results is always one of the worst times in our cancer journeys. There is no point in kicking yourself for having no life insurance or for missing mammograms, this will not change anything. It is all very fine for family and friends to tell you to be positive, but this is almost impossible to do until you know what you are dealing with.

    There are many other reasons for breast lumps and for enlarged lymph nodes. I hope that, when you attend for your results tomorrow, it is good news. Either way, you will feel better once you know exatly what you are dealing with. I hope that you are bringing your husband with you to your appointment. It is also a good idea to draw up a list of questions for your consultant before each apointment.

    Do please let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hi jolamine

    Thanks for you reply.  I am just so scared that there will be no treatment and I have went too late.  Everything you have out in your reply has made me feel extremely supported, it is very difficult to speak to family and friends when they are not facing what I am. You are right though as I do not know what I am facing my head is carrying every scenario out and it’s awful.  

    It is heartening to know that times and treatments have changed and people are living with cancer. I am glad to hear you have fought it twice and survived. 

    Thanks for the advice about writing down questions - good idea.

    i will let you know how it goes nut may take a while to get my head round whatever I am facing.

    Thanks again 

    Marv

  • Offline in reply to Marv2002

     

    Hi Marv,

    The agonies you are going through are all perfectly normal. I am now waiting for surgery for a melenoma on my face next Monday, which is something that has just cropped up out of the blue. It is only natural for you to look at the worst case scenario and think that this pertains to you. Fortunately, this seldom turns out to be the case.

    Please don't castigate yourself for having no life insurance. This doesn't make you a failure or a bad mother. When you look at cancer, money really does mean nothing. The important thing is that your husband and children know how much you love them and, if there is anything untoward present, that you can all fight this together. A cancer diagnosis really does highlight the things that are important in life and, it really is amazing how our values change.

    Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thank you Jolamine, I hope your surgery on Monday goes well

     

    Take Care

    Marv

  • Offline in reply to June_B

    Hi June

    are you going through the same thing -awaiting results?

    Marv

  • Offline

    Hi hun. I'm with you. Found a lump in January. Went yesterday for a mammogram etc. They found my lymph are up too. 4 core biopsies later I and my 2 daughter's are left reeling. I'm so scared this it. But I will not let this *** beat me without a fight. I can't imagine your panic, but it can't be much different to mine. They already said I'll need surgery but no results for malignancy till Monday next week. 

     

    Keep your fingers crossed and your chin up. We'll get there. 

     

    Lesley

  • Offline in reply to Marv2002

     

    Thank you Marv. I'll let you know how it goes.

    Regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Lesley59

     

    Hi Lesley,

    I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this position too. Waiting for results is always scary, but, even if there is malignancy present, you sound like a strong lady, who is going to stand up and fight it.

    I sincerely hope that it will be good news for you next Monday. Please let us know how it goes. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Lesley59

    The waiting is terrible. I have breast cancer and am now awaiting a few more tests before my treatment package can start. It’s going to be a long road to recovery and I would imagine some harrowing days. Was truly awful having to see my kids world blown apart by something I had to tell them. They have all reacted differently .i am trying to b as honest with them as possible.

    I am so glad to have this commipunity support and to now know the fight I have on my hands and let me tell you I will be strong and fight.

    Take care and let me know how you get on 

    xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.