Hi Ninja,

Welcome to our forum, the one that nobody really wants to join.

I am so sorry to hear of your wife's recent diagnosis. This must have knocked you both for six! It sounds as if she has been so brave going through all the treatment she's had. How soon after she finishes her 6th session can she have the scan to see how effective it has been?

I am glad to hear that you are both having counselling, as waiting for these results is a scary time. Sadly, there is nothing you can do to change the results and, worrying won't achieve anything. When she is waiting for her scan results, can you take her out occasionally? A trip out for a coffee, a lunch, a film or theatre all helps to pass the time until her results come back - This beats just sitting at home and waiting for them.

I sincerely hope that you get good news.

Do please keep us updated and, remember that we are always here for you both.

KInd regards,

Jolamine

Hi Jolamine, 

thanks for your kind words. Yes, it is a worrying time. She has her scan on Friday 18th. 

She keeps herself busy with her friends. She belongs to an “Active Hearts” group. All about keeping active. Out of 24 exercises, she did 19 of them! It really gave her a boost, and me too. We go out as often as we can. Outwardly, she looks good and healthy, but inside she’s worried, naturally. But she copes. I’m here for her and we have a close family around. 

Hi Ninja,

I lost my own parents, many relatives and close friends to cancer and, have had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past 9 years. One thing that anyone who gets a cancer diagnosis has to grapple with for the rest of their lives is the possibility of it spreading. This is a scary prospect, so I am not at all surprised that you and your wife are so worried.

Do you feel that the counselling is helping you both? I am delighted to hear that she is still attending her 'Active Hearts' Class and, doing so well with the exercises.

She is lucky to have you beside her for support and , I am pleased to hear that you have a close family around you - I hope that they can also help you out practically as things get tougher. Don't refuse any offers of help.

It's a hard road that you are travelling and, I sincerely hope that she gets good news after her scan on 18th.

Please let us know how she gets on and, remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi Jolamine,

the results were bittersweet. The nodules in her peritoneum have shrunk. But they have noticed it’s spread to her lung. The Pleura, I’d never heard of that either. They are looking at changing her chemo to Folfox. Also looking for any trials that are going on for her. She’s not in any pain at all TG. We’re gutted, truly devestated by this. I just can’t take it in. I can’t see how councilling will get me through all this. She really is my whole  world. My life. My lovely wife. I really don’t want to be here when she dies. I just couldn’t live without her. I’m just so broken right now. Life is so cruel sometimes. She’s never hurt anyone or anything in her life. Why my wife?? 

Hi Ninja,

Life is so unfair. Sadly cancer is no respector of age, creed, or colour.

I am so sorry to hear that the nodules have spread to your wife's lungs, despite the ones in her peritoneum shrinking. It is at least good that she is not in any pain.

Instead of looking at the end stage, which is just too overwhelming, why not try to put a more positive slant on this, for your wife's sake? You could try to do things with her which will make memories. You have really got to be the strong one at the moment, as your wife must also feel devastated and afraid.

Are there any people or places she might like to see? If so, perhaps you could arrange this.

Are you still having counselling? I very much doubt that it will help you to cope after she passes, but they may be able to help you prepare for this.

I lost my father-in-law this week. He was 97 and had lost his wife only 3 months ago. They had been together for 80 years and did everything together. He was totally heartbroken after she died. He was admitted to hospital for an assessment on Wednesday 16th, but we were told that afternoon that he had cancer, which was right throughout his body.

Sadly, because of his frailty, they couldn't do any invasive tests or treatment. The next day following a CT scan, we were told that it was in his gastro-intestinal tract, bowel, brain, liver, stomach, thoracic tract and lymph nodes. We were told that it was also elsewhere, but they didn't feel that it was worth putting him through any further tests, as it wouldn't change the outcome.

After 5 days he was transferred to the hospice and he died the first night that he was admitted. We are all reeling from the shock of such a sudden diagnosis and, an even quicker departure. We are all in a state of shock at present, but it is bound to strike home after the funeral is behind us. Like your wife, he was one of the better people in life. He neither drank nor smoked and, his family were the centre of his universe and he of ours.

I am sure that your wife would not want you to feel as you described after she passes. I have a number of friends and colleagues who felt like this, but who after the years have passed, have gone on to live a purposeful and happy life. Don't misunderstand me, they have never forgotten their loved ones and have always held them deep in their hearts.

I am thinking and praying for you both and hope that the Folfox chemo has more effect than her previous chemo.

Please keep in touch and let me know how your wife gets on.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi Ninja9

I've been searching on the Internet for peritoneal disease as I've just been diagnosed with it, and came across your post, so sorry about your wife mine has apparently come from a tumour from my appendix and is already at stage 4, I've been having non specific symptoms for a while but with covid wasn't taken seriously, I already have chronic lymphatic leukemia and they just assumed the uncomfortableness I was feeling was due to enlarged lymph nodes, eventually did a CT scan and discovered this. Can I ask if your wife was ever offered CRS and HIPEC?

Lydia

Hi I sorry to hear your diagnosis.  I have also been given the same news. I had vowel cancer in 2019, then a spread to ovaries . Had these removed in March 21. Had chemo after both ops. Now due to change in bloods I have been told I have stage 4  peritoneal disease and spots on my liver. My husband and myself are reeling at this news as I feel and look good. I am seeing my Oncologist this afternoon. Good luck to you and your family .

Hi Cleo5,

Sorry about your recent diagnosis and wish you all the best, it is hard to be told it's already at stage 4 isn't it? I still haven't had any op as they wanted to go with Folfox first to see if it shrunk, thankfully it has but they're now concerned about my enlarged lymph nodes and don't know if they're to do with the peritoneal disease or the leukaemia, so I recently had a biopsy on them and awaiting results. I hate all this waiting and not knowing. All the best with your Oncology appointment. 

Hi, I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis. My husband was diagnosed with stage 3/4 bowel cancer in March 2020. It manifested in a burst appendix in 2019.

he had a resection and adjuvant chemo , 12 rounds and then scan showed NED .

Fast forward to March 2021 scan showed at least 3 tumours on the omentum. No chance of surgery just chemo. Another 24 chemo rounds has kept in in check.

however reading about CRS and hipec in this chat I wrote to Jamie Murphy. Got a reply the next day. 
After a year of tests , scans and more scans my husband had CRS and hipec on Friday at ST Marks London .

it's early days and recovery will be a very long process but he has been given a chance we couldn't date but hope for. Never give up. Keep asking questions and fingers crossed for you 

Lisa xx