My partner won’t support me

Feel so lonely and scared. My boyfriend has always been very self centred. We have struggled during our 4 year relationship. He has no emotion and shows no empathy. Even now when the going is tough. I thought that he maybe would try harder. Feeling so scared of what lies ahead. Spoke to him earlier to say that he is the only one that is actually making me feel worse and he knows my circumstances. He then yelled, slammed the door and went out. I need to remain strong and I feel that I am doing reasonably well until I come home to him and he brings me down and belittles me. What should I do? Don’t really want to go through a separation as well. I don’t normally complain so I apologise for my rant, just not convinced I can do this with him around. Awaiting a biopsy next week.. he’s working and not coming with me as doesn’t want to lose any money! Would be nice to get any objective views on my situation. The fight has just begun but I don’t need him making it harder. I have to ask him for cuddles and he ignores me if I cry. In fact he ignores me most of the time. Still in shock as I only realised something was wrong 10 days ago after going to A and E insisting on an X-ray. When I came  back in tears he told me to suck it up! What should I do?

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    Hi Qwest,

    I am so sorry to hear that you feel like this just now. Getting a cancer diagnosis is devastating news, especially when you are so young. Not getting the support you need from your partner at this time must be very upsetting. It does take some time for a diagnosis to sink in.

    Have you had a chance to sit down with your partner yet to tell him how you really feel about his lack of support? This might be the first step to take. If you see any future from there, you might find it helpful to see a counsellor at Maggies' or elsewhere as RoseStarBlue suggested. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 13 years and was very reluctant to do this, but it did really help my family relationship in the end. I am sure that your partner is still grieving, but he must understand that when he took on a partner in life, he also needs to think of her (ie you) as well as himself.

    I hope that you can work through this together. Please keep in touch and remember that we are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx