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Coping

Sunflowers1
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Hi, my husband has cancer & we have found all the family and friends that we thought would be there appear to want to avoid us and live there lives which is upsetting, has anyone else experienced this?

 

my husband is very scared of dying, I try to help by saying things like death just means your going to loved ones that have gone before and I’ll join him eventually, I don’t know if what I’m saying is the right thing to say, I really don’t know what I’m doing and feel useless

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    Hello sunflowers; I am sorry about your husband.  Is his prognosis terminal or is he having treatment to knock the b....y cancer out?     Sadly it is often the case that people you considered friends suddenly disappear - many people on this website have spoken of this - I don't know why but maybe they don't know what to say or do - heaven knows why?  A friendly visit, a hug, a few words, a kind action mean everything when you are going through this.  Concentrate on those who are showing their love for you and who will do everything they can to help you through this.  Family I really don't understand; these are your flesh and blood for heavens sake.   I am sure you know what to say to your husband, you sound to be perceptive and will do everything you can to help him.  Don't consider yourself useless for a moment; you are doing everything you can in this awful situation.  Please do come here and chat whenever you want.  Annie

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Thank you for replying, at least being abandoned isn’t just us then, it hurts as my husband is a lovely man who has always helped other people, I think it says more about them, I will carry on, it helps that someone has replied when I felt so low, it’s given me a lift that I’m not so alone

  • Offline in reply to Sunflowers1

    So pleased you came here; you will doubtless hear from others who have been where you are now and we would be pleased to share what knowledge we have with you.  Anybody who abandons a friend in trouble has the problem, not you.  I know it can be difficult to know what to say and sometimes people stumble over the words but that is okay - as long as they are trying you will be pleased. Annie

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