My mum

My Mum and best friend lost her battle on the 30th May 2018. She had Lung cancer with secondry bone cancer. It all happened so quickly. I miss her so much. As time goes on it gets harder. There is so much i want to tell her, so much i realied on her for. I just want to hear, touch her, be with her. The world goes on but i cant. People around me seemed to have forgotten this massive life changing thing has happened and treat you as it happened ages ago and i want to scream 'ive lost my mum, im hurting,its early days for me'. Im really close to my Dad,sister and Brother but we are all holding in our emotions other so we don't upset each other. I just want my Mum.

  • Big hugs to you.my mum is at the stage now she wants to stop chemo.she's had ovarian cancer 2&half years,it spread to liver,kidney.she's had infections, keeps having as cites fluid build up.yesterday I went to see her&she admitted she has no quality of life.I've agreed with her&told her she must make this deciosn herself.its heartbreaking yesterday was the first time I've cried with her.my dad has mental health&is not good.you should be able to cry with your family.why don't you hold a celebration of her life with your family.have a fun day,lots of laughing etc remembering your  mum.hugs to you Denise xxxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear you lost your mum earlier this year, it's a rough road to have to go down. I lost my Mum last September to lung cancer too and even though they had initially diagnosed it at stage 1, which is unusually rare, she had ten months to try and do what she wanted and enjoy the time she had left as best as she could, so I'm sorry that for your family it happened so quickly. 

    I don't know if this will be helpful, but the fact that you're hurting so much is caused by how huge you're love for her is. The pain is proportional to the love. I know it doesn't make sense but I've found that comforting this past year. But yeah, people do forget, even friends can seem to forget what you're going through, and its such an overewhelming loss that you feel they should almost be able to see your pain manifest itself as a black clould above you, but they can't. But speak to them, remind them, tell them about you're Mum and how awesome she was. Life's too short not to share these things. I've found that most people have their own sories of grief that they're too afarid to share unless someone else opens that door first. I'm not saying you have to be a Saint, mind. It's okay to feel angry and frustrated about people seeming to forget, for a while at least.

    Have you tried having that talk with your family by asking them directly how they're really doing? There's a good chance that you're all feeling the same but not wanting to upset each other. My family (Dad, Sister and me) are close too, but there's no replacing your Mum and that's hard. But we try to celebrate every occasion we can by doing something that my Mum would have liked (so as she was a real foodie, that means all of us making a big meal and pigging out, but each to their own). 

    It's a wrench, and its really unfair and I'm sorry, it's it terrible situation. But you can get through this, and you'll look back and you will surprise yourself on how strong you are, honestly. I hope you're okay.

    C


    (Sorry I rambled)