Mum just diagnosed with Lung, bone and adrenal cancer.

We were told the news last Wednesday that mum who is 87 has lung, bone and adrenal cancer, she has been suffering a long time with pain in her hip which we thought was due to her osteoporosis. The specialist and cancer nurse were so lovely with mum and my sister and me.

There is nothing that they can do apart from palliative care and the Macmillan nurses have already made contact, along with the district nurse. She is now on the right medication for her pain level plus a liquid form top up.

Her appetite has gone due to the fact she can’t taste anything and I try to tempt her with just little tastes of what she fancies. We are a very close family and can talk openly about death and dying. Mum accepts that she will not survive this and is grateful that she has had reasonable health up to the last few years.

I think the worst thing is not knowing how long she has got left and how she will be. This morning after a very long sleep she got up and was very shaky and felt sick, she thought she was having a stroke but once she took the tablets she felt better.  I’m wondering if this could be because she was due her medication??  

All the family are supportive but not overwhelming her, she does not take sympathy very well.  

My sister and I are obviously in bits but we don’t show it in front of her because this is about her not us.

  • Hello Elaine61; sorryto learn of your mum's terminal illness.  It can be difficult to know how long any cancer patient has left to live.  The professionals can give you an estimate based on the average  of how long other patients have lived but I know from personal experience that it can vary greatly from patient to patient. You should ask someone involved in your mum's medical care if her shakiness and nausea could have been caused by her needing her tablets or whether it is a symptom of her illness.   Don't worry if you cannot always wear your strong face when confronted with the signs of your mum's illness; it is inevitable.  In any event I hope you and your sister talk to each other because I think that continually bottling up your feelings doesn't do you any good -  feelings need to have an outlet.   You are very welcome to come here to let off steam or set out your fears at any time.  Annie 

  • Thanks for taking the time to reply Annie, it’s much appreciated.