Hello mcd and welcome to this forum.  It is devastating  to have a loved parent who has a terminal diagnosis; you desperately want to know everything and make the best decisions but at the same time you can feel totally lost. One of the horrible facts about cancer is how much it varies from person to person; two people with the same situation can react to time and treatment in different ways.  The doctors cannot always tell how a particular patient will react to a treatment but I believe they do their best based on their knowledge and experience.  Similarly it is difficult to know how long a patient will survive in particular circumstances.  Again - and I know this from my own experience - there can be big variations.  But do talk to your dad's oncologist - s/he can only give you an average but based on how your dad's disease progresses should be able to give you ongoing advice.  I would suggest that you just take things as they come and react to things as they happen.  Not easy I know.  I hope you are getting good help with for instance MacMillan nurses and getting the appropriate items needed to keep your dad comfortable (for example a hospital bed can be provided).  Please also come back here to ask any questions you have - if you have been looking through the forum you will know that so many - too many - people have been in similar situations and will do their best to help you.  Annie

Hi there, this is hard but having gone through this with my husband I can help.  He was diagnosed a year gone March, lung cancer,  incurable and no time given as to how long he had.  I'm pleased to say that after all the chemo, 20 sessions of radiotherapy we have just been told his cancer is stable.  Chemo is hard, I had to force water into hum, made him have energy drinks, supplied by the hospital,  let him sleep up to 18 hours a day and had a few scares where I thought I would lose him.  It's not an easy journey but a good state of mind is needed and giving up was not an option.   Have a look at some of my posts from a year ago and see how we coped.   Post again if you want.  Things move fast because under NHS guidance there is a time limit set and if not met the hospital is fined.  If he wasn't up to having chemo they would not have given it to him, there are bloods taken before each session and they have to be OK before they proceed.  Kind regards  Carol 

Thank you so much Carol, I’ll look at your posts, it’s so hard as you feel so useless.

I’m so happy your husbands cancer is stable, it’s so good to hear some positive news.