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vicTORIa44
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Hi lm Vicki. Mum of 3 from Milton Keynes . I'm laid in bath thinking as per usual, and googled support groups and up you popped. I hope this is the place l had In mind..

I found out about 12 weeks ago my father has lung cancer 5 weeks later told 6-12mths life expectancy and then 3 weeks ago lowered to 6 mths...  I've not even got my head around he has cancer let alone the rest. I've an extrely stubborn mother and an equally stubborn sister who have had a huge falling out nobody is going to resolve this for them dad's stressed by is and lm seriously in a what to do situation. I have to hide my emotions in front of mother too as easier it's all a bloody nightmare my priority of course is my father. All l know about the end of his life is what Google says and its mostly awful reading.. I'm worried, scared, heartbroken. A whirlpool of my own life crap going on and l feel lm ready to explode. Anyone else felt like this or have any advice. Please.... 

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    Hi Victoria ...

    Cancer can be like a tornado, and turns everything we know upside down ... And that's normal ... Best to get lots of emotions out ... Then like my daughter in law told me ... No more panic, no more what ifs and looking ahead ... Well live in the day and take every problem as and when it comes up, and we'll do it together ... Well that's the best advice I ever had ... And to add not to Google .. on the home page here there's a seach engine, just put in the main words and there's a lot of great advice on here .. 

    Now I know this is hard to hear .. but no matter what time your dad has on this journey, don't waist a minute with disagreements ... This is a time to pull together ... All of you ... You can make lots of good memories for your dad yet ... A time to share tears , hugs, and leave nothing unsaid ... Because if you all fall out this will make a very sad time for your dad, and harder to live with after ..

    I know this, because none of us with cancer knows what tomorrow will bring ... So I'm living every day to the full ... I even had Xmas in Orlando ... And weather I'm here long or short my wonderfull family have supported me in everything .. giving me control back of what each day holds ... Life and family and holding each other's hand right now is to be lived every day your blessed to have him ..

    Sending you all a vertual hug ... You can do this .. but you need to be strong enough to get everyone on board ... Live in the day ... Chrissie xx

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    Hello Victoria.

    So sorry to hear of your Dad's diagnosis and a prognosis of a few months. You are so right when you say that your dad is priority so as the others have said something needs to be sorted and as soon as possible.

    My late husband was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in 2016 with a prognosis of 9-12 months but sadly managed barely 6 months. He had a rough journey, particularly the final 3 months. Things can change very rapidly.

    Things need to be sorted so that your dad gets all the support and care he will need and deserves.

    Wishing you good luck

    Lynne.

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    Hello there, 

    My nana had lung cancer. She was a self confessed hypocondriac for many years. When diagnosed with this serious cancer, she somehow settled down, stopped worrying about every last little thing. She was cared for at home while possible, then spent her last days in a wonderfully caring hospice. It was a peaceful ending.

    Regarding your mum and sister....I've spent far too much energy fretting about the ridiculous squabbles between my sister and her daughter over the last three years, since my sister was widowed. They both think they are right, when in my view neither of them is. They both want me on their side, and I won't take sides.Then I had a cancer diagnosis, and my husband had a stroke. Sis said how much she loved us both, met a guy online and hasn't been in touch for the last three months or so.You know what? It's a relief. We don't need the hassle of dealing with her. 

    You are not responsible for how other people behave. You are only responsible for your own behavior. So do what you feel is best for you and your dad. Do what you can live with. 

    Plus, the Samaritans are really good listeners. 

    Take care. 

    regards, gamechanger

    ps you can email the Samaritans if talking on the phone is difficult with kiddies around. 

     

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