Hi Mari,

I am so sorry to hear of the worrying situation that your mum finds herself in and can understand your concern for her confusing diagnosis. It sounds as if her consultant is pretty sure of what s/he is dealing with, despite what her test results have shown.

Sadly, it is not at all unusual to get confusion or unclear results in a number of cancer cases. It sounds as if the correct procedures are being followed despite this lack of clarity. The consultant is not the only person to decide on the optimum treatment for a patient. S/he involves a host of different professionals to decide on the optimum treatment. In all cancer cases s/he holds a weekly MDT (Multi - disciplinary team) meeting to discuss all the new cases that have come through and how to treat them. This means that all of these other professionals have seen your mum's results and cannot be too sure. They are rightly now looking at the more aggressive of these two types of cancer, as slowing the progression of this will hopefully give you a little longer to spend with your mum.

This having been said, anyone is entitled to ask for a second opinion. If you do this, bear in mind that this will delay your mum's treatment while you wait for a referral to see someone else. Also, this will probably entail your mum having to go through more tests and yet more stress, as she waits for the results. Do you want to put her through all this again?

I know just what you are both going through. I lost both of my parents to cancer, along with several relatives and close friends and I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past eight years, so I am no stranger to this disease..

I felt so frustrated, particularly with my mum's diagnosis. She had breast cancer for 12 years. She had a mastectomy and radiotherapy for this. She then developed metastases in her liver, lungs, brain and bones and at this stage there was no more that could be done for her. I found it so very hard to cope with watching her fade away before my eyes and not being able to do anything to help, but we tried to be as positive as we could. My children were young at the time and we concentrated on trying to make memories with them, when their gran was well enough to participate.

I supported my mum as best I could during this time even though my heart was breaking. It is now 20 years since she died and I still miss her every day.

I am thinking of you and your mum and praying for more clarity of her results.

Please let us know what you decide to do. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx