In my early 30s a good friend took two and a half years to die of face cancer. Of the very many friends she had she cut down to 5. I was one of the 5 and I didn't know why to start with.
Then I worked it out. I supported her I did not cry all over her. The ill friend hasn't the energy to cope with others sorry for them.
I refused to be hysterically shocked by anything ie when she said she probably have her eye out next day as part of an exploratory operation I had to sit there and make sensible noises not it won't come to that etc. Afterward, when she had lost half her face including eye (it had healed) I sat there whilst she took her bandage off! I had to be stoic , after initial shock which I dare not show I got up and had a very good look and asked questions such as where does that tube go etc.
By her comments about other people she had dropped I learnt a great deal.
Any trauma teaches you a lot. The worst was going through the menopause in my 20s when I desparately wanted children. Later someone at work said that she reconned that nature decided who wasn't fit to have children!
This year (I'm 67) I was told they would probably have to amputate my leg through the hip and I would never walk again. A week later I was told that I probably had bladder cancer (not confirmed).
In July the last time I was a inmate at hospital (I haven't in Aug) I had bad DKA (Type 1 Diabetes) and sepsis, I was giving the Health care Assistant a background to what was wrong with me when I through in amputation and cancer. He said he had never heard someone add cancer as a casual remark. Well having spent 7months in hospital in 17, air amblulance from Caribbeanetc etc and two emergency admissions to hospital this summer etc etc Cancer has to take a back seat.
I really would like to be able to walk and be without pain!
Heather
