Hey, more waiting!!! I thought my date would never arrive and now I'm almost a week after. The drain is really the only thing, that and my extreme limited range of movement, but pain wise I don't really have any, can't actually feel anything on my new boob. And the elephant has lost weight!! Had a bad day emotionally yesterday but I'm better today, getting my results on Monday. I'm hoping that's the last of the hard waiting. Which is honestly the toughest part, that and the unknown. I'm sorry you've to wait that long. Christmas will keep you distracted to a point, you'll get times where you actually forget but I know it's always on your mind, you just don't want to worry your family. I've definitely developed more patience through this. And talking here has helped enormously, I really think you e to go through this to get it. In fact a girl I train had it and has been great, I sent her a message saying sorry if I said anything stupid while she was in the height of it!! Good days and bad days ahead for us, in time the good will our weigh the bad I hope, in the meantime talking helps. Thinking of you. X

Oh Jolamine,

I'm so sorry to hear that you've got an anxious wait too. You're so very supportive to all of us newbies, it saddens me to hear you're still going through it! Have a missed something - may I ask why you are having a brain scan.

Sending love x

Evening lovey,

I've got everything crossed that Monday brings good news. 

Are you doing physio or gentle exercises yet? And I hope you're getting plenty of TLC and rest too x

Got some physio exercises, just raising my arm to shoulder height, that kind of thing. Which is actually a struggle, which is frustrating cause I was doing olympic lifting with heavy weights up to a few weeks ago!! Will be a while before I get back there again!

Trying to think rationally about Monday..but already googling my odds. 
So much patience and positivity needed to get through this girls! And there's always someone worse off. But I don't always feel lucky. But you're all getting through it so I can too. X

Hi CCPT,

You are quite right, patience and a level head are needed here, but after a nine week wait both are wearing a bit thin. To be honest, I find helping others on here helps me to put my own problems into proportion.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you to have a good result on Monday.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Carolyn,

I hope that you are continuing to keep a little better and are now fully immersed in your preparations for Christmas.

I am taking a ridiculous amount of medication, but every time there is a change, it seems to trigger an unwanted response. My blood pressure is unacceptably high and, my consultant has been trying to lower it with more medication. I started taking 'turns' a few years ago, These start with visual disturbance, then rigors where I fall down if I don't get to a seat quickly enough. I don't lose consciousness throughout, but I feel odd for a few hours afterwards. This year I added another tablet to the melting pot and, started to get a strange 'waterfall type' of effect down the left side from the centre of my head, down my neck and shoulder finishing just above my elbow.

My neurologist carried out tests, but didn't find anything, so suggested that a brain scan might be the best option. My Mum developed secondary breast cancer after 12 years and, it spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs. I am now nearing 11 years since I was first diagnosed, so am naturally nervous that I might follow suit. Like everyone else, I'll just have to wait and see. Here's hoping  that all is ok and that it all turns out to be an adverse reaction to the new medication.

It really is a case of swings and roundabouts. I have already had 3 biopsies for melanoma this year, but fortunately all were clear.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

You're of course worried, and comparing yourself to your mum, understandable. What I've learned so far, every single case is different. That's from speaking to people and googling the bejaysus out of EVERYTHING!! And things have come on so much in the last few years, new treatments, the realization that previous treatments were unnecessarily too aggressive, the way the disease is approached and treated changes all the time. I've learned that when you're going through it weeks feel like years, then when you hit that date you look back and think my god that time flew. Then I question my own sanity! My gut is telling me Monday will be fine, and my gut has been 100% correct, it's only when I get nearer the date I'll start to question that and that's when the googling kicks in! 
We're in this together girls, and it's ok to get upset now and then. X

Morning Jolamine,

My goodness, you've certainly got a lot to deal with and I completely understand your worries. Only last night, I was looking at the likelihood of recurrence and I gathered that things have definitely moved on since your poor mum. I also finally decided to read the side effects of Tamoxifen and HELLO!!!!!! WHAT THE ...!!!! So, I'm sure that your experiences have got everything to do with the cocktail if drugs and I sincerely hope that your doctor's can get this right for you. 

All the waitingbis extremely hard for us girls. But, we're all here for eachother and you have our support. 

Virtual hugs xxx

Hi CCPT,

Yes we are fortunate that diagnosis, treatment and aftercare have come on leaps and bounds in the past few years.

We are certainly in this together,but we'll beat it. Time really does drag when you are waiting for results and, I sincerely hope that your gut is 100% correct on Monday and, that you will have clear margins and good news.

Kind regards,
Jolamine xx