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Pixie12333
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Hello everyone, my names daisy and I’m 15 from the UK. My dad was recently diagnosed with lung cancer, at first we thought they could operate on it but the doctors were concerned about a different area and thought it had spread. We found out the results about 4 weeks ago that it’s terminal and he’s recently started his chemotherapy. He’s been given around 18 months. I’m struggling to deal with this all and feel so lonely. I don’t like speaking openly in person as I find it difficult to not cry and I don’t want many people knowing as I hate getting sympathy from people who don’t really understand. I know they’re trying to be nice but I want to speak to people who understand. Thankyou x

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    Oh Daisy,

    What a lot you have to deal with. Nobody of your age should have to cope with this. I can understand how you feel so isolated and lonely.

    Rest assured that those of us on this site know only too well the devastation that cancer causes, as we've all been touched by it in different ways. You will get great support from people on this forum, but we are all much older than you. Can I suggest that you might find it easier to speak to other young people who are either travelling the cancer journey or have already done this. There are a number of cancer chat rooms for teenage cancer and you will find that the people here fully understand exactly what you are going through. You might try http://www.riprap.org.uk/ or www.click4tic.org.uk/.../forums.

    Can you and your mum support one another through these difficult times? Remember that we are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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    Hi Daisy

    firstly let me say how sorry I am that life has thrown this horrible thing at you and your family, it certainly is very cruel. Secondly how mature you sound, it is wonderful that you have been able to come here to ask for support rather than keep your feelings to yourself, I really admire that.  

    I’ve just been told I have cancer, I am a Mum with a 15 year old daughter and I know she is experiencing what you are although she’s being brave and supportive, I know underneath she is struggling, she’s been avoiding friends and has instructed family not to ask how she is and I totally get why. Of corse no one understands how you feel, how could they, you are in an awful place and you must feel isolated. Do you feel like you can’t speak to your mum or other relatives including your dad in case you upset them? Please know that no one wants you to deal with this alone, I would much rather my girl sat with me and talked about her feelings than feel alone, maybe find a quiet moment with your Dad and tell him, he will want to make you feel better and he will love that you need him and trust him enough to be open with your feelings. As a parent I can honestly tell you that at times like this nothing means more to us than our children, your well being is all that concerns us. 

    I know there is support out there for teenagers although I haven’t researched it yet, the Macmillan site is good and has forums there. It is important that you get support from your school, if you’re going in to year 11 this is a hard year, I hope there is someone there who can help you. 

    This news is still a shock to you, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to process it, but seek more support when you feel ready, you’ve made the first step by coming here so you can do it. 

    Much love and hugs to you Daisy, please come back to chat if you need to xx

  • Offline in reply to Mikeswife

    Thankyou so much. Life isn’t fair sometimes and weve all just got to deal with it as it comes. I know that he will always be in my heart when he does pass, and his spirit will always be with me. 

    I’m so sorry to hear about  your diagnoses, it’s such a horrible thing when your first told that yourself or someone you love has it. I can imagine what your daughter is going through as we are both dealing with the same thing. I understand why she’s asked for people not to ask how she is because it’s hard to say ‘I’m doing fine’ when your not, no body is alright when dealing with something this big. I feel like she doesn’t want people reassuring her that it’s going to be alright as this is such a life changing thing. It may be different for her but that’s how I feel. Not many of my friends know what it’s like to have to cope with something like this and for a few weeks I’ve felt very isolated and have tried to keep my mind off things. 

    I don’t like speaking to my dad about it because he still hasn’t come to terms with it, he’s the type of person to think a miracle is going to happen or that the chemo is going to cure him in some way. I do speak to my mum about it however I like celebrating the memory’s and making the most of it with my family however I did want someone I could speak to about the harsh reality of it all. 

    I hope your daughter finds a way to speak to you about it as I’m sure that after she does she’ll feel like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders, I think she just doesn’t want to upset you or worry you.

    im very sorry to hear about your news, no one deserves something like this. Thankyou so much, love daisy xxx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thankyou very much. I’m just researching what is the best to chat to people who understand. I will try those websites. 

    Love daisy xx

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