Hi Shar,

I am so sorry to hear about your husband especially coming so soon after your dad's cancer. A cancer diagnosis affects the whole family. What ages are your children? You will find this site a useful resource when symptoms that you know nothing about crop up, as there will always be someone who has experienced them.

Even if your husband had the same type of cancer as your dad, you would find that some symptoms would vary, as cancer affects people differently.

Keep on fighting and keep that positive attitude and, yes of course we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Shar

Im  so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis, I know you have a lot to deal with atm. My husband was diagnosed with terminal multiple myeloma the day before Christmas eve, it was hearbreaking and I just stood and cried. My husband was very positive and still is. 

He has had his big treatments and stem cell transplant, some days he can't get out of bed. We have a small baby and I find myself doing everything and falling into bed at night, just so my husband doesn't have to worry. I cry in the shower and in the car, I don't want my.husband to see how upset I get. 

The important thing is that your together, make memories take the pictures and make the most of every single day. You will have good days and bad no one expects you to be wonder woman. I find talking on here to strangers  easier than talking to friends and family. You can say what's really on your mind. 

Sending hugs

Stef

Thank you so much for your comments and concern. We’ve just had a rough night with pain in his left upper arm, he has swollen lymph nodes in his armpits and I thought it was coming from there but every time I touched a place on his back he felt it as if it was coming from there? I had to revert to stronger painkillers last night but even they didn’t give him more than an hours respite, it’s this that unnerves me the most as being ‘ Mum’ most of my life I could always sort things, stop pain, but am finding his pain more of a challenge, also asking for help is an alien task that I am having to get used to, so thank you for all your thoughts and help it really is appreciated.

I am so sorry to hear of your troubles, and you seem so young, I understand why you cry alone the shower is place of choice as it’s private and the noise is masked so it upsets no one else. My children are all grown and I can talk to them but we are all shooting in the dark at the moment, I have to try and get him well enough to start his treatment, he missed his first attempt , he went into hospital with infection and dehydration, we have a new date in September and we are working towards that. The staying positive is a message to hold on to for all. Thank you for your thoughts and love to you for a positive future for your husband.

Hi Shar,

It sounds as if you need still stronger pain killers. Have a word with his GP or nurse, or phone up his consultant's secretary and ask for his advice.

I have lost both parents and many other family members and close friends to cancer and have had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past 8 years. I know well the frustration of not being able to control his pain, when as a mum you have always been able to sort things up to this. This is where you need to liaise closely with his care team and tell them that what he has been prescribed is just not cutting it. They are usually very helpful.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Shar,

I am so sorry to hear that he is back in hospital again, but it sounds as if this is the best place for him until his infection is settled. I am glad to hear that you GP is marvellous and that you now have some liquid morphine for when he gets home. I use morphine patches which I replace weekly. This does help a little, but it makes me sleepier and nauseous. Still, on the bright side, this reduces my appetite and I do need to lose weight!

Has your husband seen a consultant yet? He will be the key part to the care team. You can always contact his secretary and ask for advice until you get his complete care team in place.

I hope that your husband is home again soon, as it is very draining on you having to traipse back and forth to hospital for visiting.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx