Cancer Research UK main site

My grandad

Shellence
Offline

Hello everyone and thank you for letting me join your group 

my grandad is 84 had a fall at home ended up in hospital he had a ct scan to rule out any breaks 

they found leasions to his spine 

had an mri yesterday which we are getting the results today 

they have already told us he’s got cancer 

i have not long lost my dad to cancer am so scared am going to lose my grandad as well

any advice on what to ask later today would be helpful thank you for reading  

  • Offline

     

    Hi Shellence,

    I am so sorry to hear about your grandad’s fall and the tragic outcome of his ensuing investigations. This must have hit you particularly hard when you have recently lost your dad to cancer. Can I ask what age you are? To have to go through this once with a loved one is hard, but to be facing it for a second time is unimaginable. Life can be so cruel at times.

    His doctors seem quite sure that he has cancer as seen on his CT scan. The MRI will give them more information. Doctors are usually pretty good at being very open about cancer nowadays.  They will probably want to take some blood from him and possibly even carry out a biopsy. There is usually a wait to get the results after these have been taken and, the time spent waiting can be a very anxious time.

    There is not an awful lot that you can ask until you know exactly what you are dealing with. After that you will want to know the stage of the cancer. The higher the stage the more advanced the disease usually is. You will also want to know what type of cancer he has, how quickly it is likely to grow, how this is likely to impinge on his life and what treatment the doctors would recommend for him. There is the possibility that they may not want to carry out surgery if the lesions are close to the spinal nerve. This will also depend on how fit your grandad is and how they feel he could cope with surgery.

    If they are considering surgery, don’t forget to ask how soon he will have an operation, how long he will be in hospital for and how long it will take him to recover from surgery. If they are talking about radiotherapy or chemotherapy, you might want to ask about the side-effects of these treatments and how they affect patients.

    There will probably more questions that spring to mind as you are talking to the doctor today. Don’t be afraid to ask any questions that pop into your head. I always make a list of questions in advance of my appointments and take this with me, as it is all too easy to forget pertinent questions during a consultation.

    Do please keep us informed about how you get on and remember that we are always here for you whenever you want a chat.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hi am 37 

    i think they don’t know what’s going on one min there saying prostate now lymph nodes 

    deffently spinal 

    so to me the spinal is the mets 

    so we are at stage 4 and waiting on prognoise and if there’s a treatment plan 

    my mum is in a right mess I don’t know what to do to help her 

    I spoke to the doc that said yes we have the results but this isn’t an emergency and could take another 2 days before we get told 

    I feel they. Shouldn’t of told us anything till they knew what was going on 

    so upset 

    sorry yes they round mets on his spine from the ct scan 

  • Offline in reply to Shellence

     

    Hi Shellence,

    It doesn’t sound as if your news yesterday was at all good. I am so sorry to hear this. Waiting to get the full result is always a very anxious time. For all you say that you wish that the doctors hadn’t told you anything until they had the full results to hand, many patients don’t want to wait any longer than they must to get answers, even if it’s not the full picture. I don’t think that they could ever find the satisfactory solution for everybody.

    How is your grandad coping with his diagnosis?  Cancer doesn’t just affect the patient. It affects the whole family. Having been through this with your dad, I can fully understand why your mum is in such a state. All you can do is to be there for her. This may not sound like much but it is worth its weight in gold. We all need someone who we can discuss everything with, no holds barred. In a strange way this is where the old proverb “a problem shared is a problem halved” comes into play, as it really does help to have someone to share the burden with.

    Please forgive me for asking your age. We often get some very plucky children on this site who are worried about their loved ones. In my early days on the site, eight years ago, I just replied as I would to any adult, as I didn’t think to ask their ages. I’m a bit more careful now and I’m sure people think me rude for asking. For all they are going through the same hardship as you and your mum, my advice is sometimes a little different for them.

    If it is of any consolation, things get a little easier once you know exactly what you are dealing with and start following a treatment regime. Is your grandad still in hospital or has he been discharged? Did they give you an appointment for 2 days or are you waiting on a phone call? Do you have any other family to support you, or is it just a case of you and your mum?

    You may well find that his prostate is his primary source and his spine is where the mets are. The lymphatic system is all over the body – a bit like the circulatory system. If it becomes involved this promotes the spread, so many have lymph node complications as well as cancer.

    I hope that you get more satisfactory answers next time. I am thinking of you andsending you some positive vibes.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.