Hiya...After regularly visiting this site I’ve finally plucked up the courage to write something...

My Hubby found a small lump on the the left side of his neck Xmas eve, within a week  it had grown to the size of an egg..I got him an appointment on New Year’s Eve with the Dr and within a few days he received a hospital appointment with the ENT..(cut the story short) within four weeks he had blood tests..X-rays..CT scan...ultrasound scan..PET scan biopsy with the needle going into the lump etc then to be told on the 25th of January that he had cancer but needed to find the  primary so within a week he had a TORS biopsy where they also had to remove his tonsils at the same time..then we had an appointment with the surgeon who diagnosed him with with stage 4 cancer..

He has since had 18 rounds of chemo followed by 6 weeks (everyday apart from weekends) of radiotherapy and had a nasal feeding tube fitted and still has it where he has to inject his food and meds as he still hasn’t been able to eat and is on a 12,hour feed at night done by a machine..He finished his treatment a couple of weeks ago..he did so well although it’s been very brutal...I’ve seen him at he’s lowest where he thought he couldn’t get through it all as it was so painful but now the treatments finished he seems to have gone into some kind of depression and keeps saying that he doesn’t think his going to get the all clear on the 12th of September...we are all saying positive things to him etc but nothing seems to make him think differently.. .he doesn’t like going out anywhere as he is very conscious of the tube on his face plus he can’t walk far now due to dropfoot from the treatment..I feel so lost and helpless!