Hello Alex,

Thanks for sharing your story - you sound very caring your mum is very lucky to have you by her side when you are already probably very busy looking after your two little ones. I am sorry to hear that she has been diagnosed with extensive small cell lung cancer and I hope her chemotherapy treatment goes well.

Although it might be a bit early as your little one is only 3, you might be interested in reading our page on talking to children about cancer. It contains tips as well as resources that may help.

It does sound like a good idea if it is all getting too much for you to bear to go and see the doctor and explain how you are feeling at the moment and how it is affecting you. Taking care of yourself is very important at this stage and I hope you will hear from some of our members who have been in this situation before and that they will share their own coping mechanisms with you. You might also be interested in reading this page which contains tips on how to deal with your feelings and how to find some support and help for yourself if you are finding it hard to cope with the diagnosis.

Finally, the forum never sleeps and we are all here for you at any time of the day or night if you need to talk.

Wishing your mum the best of luck with her chemotherapy. If you ever needed to talk to one of our nurses about any medical aspect of her treatment, you can reach them on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Alex, 

Sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis, my mum has also been diagnosed with small cell lung cancer although it is currently limited, she's 60, I'm 35 and I too have a young daughter (3 in October) who adores her nanny and it breaks my heart to see them together because we just dont know how the future is going to pan out.

I'm not sure I'm in a position to give advice as I'm very up and down at the moment - its been about 2 weeks since her diagnosis and she starts chemo this week but try and talk to her, the scariest thing for me was seeing my mom after her diagnosis, we'd spoken on the phone and i'd cried to my husband but I actually put off seeing her as I wasnt sure I could handle it without breaking down, as it turned out I invited her and my dad for dinner, we chatted very frankly, we drank prosecco and we had a lovely night with no tears. I'm sure the road ahead will be so so hard but seeing how positive and determined to fight she was actually really helped me. 

I'm happy to chat if you want to get in touch x

Hi Alex,

So sorry about your mum. 

It's tough and hard. It's normal to feel how you are. 

My mum has small cell lung cancer, she was diagnosed almost a year ago and has been having treatment  She lives abroad which is very hard. And I lost my dad to cancer only four years ago. 

Life can be cruel, your kids will give you strength through the hard times. Spend as much time as you can with your mum and build support with friends you trust and can rely on.

It's a massive shock to begin with. You will have better days. Be kind to yourself. X 

Hello there,My husband recently died from small cell cancer in the prostate, apparently it’s unusualfor it to be there. We knew he wouldn’t win the cancer battle but thought he had longer than he did

I felt so ill and distressed when we were told, every ache and pain he had I thought he was breathing his last breath, I felt I wasn’t being any help because I was so distraught. I have found out since , through this wonderful forum on here,that I had anticipatory bereavement /grief . I contacted my GP and was prescribed mild anti depressants , mild because I was the one primarily caring and driving him to Manchester. This medication just took the edge of my panic every time his temperature was a little high itr he had a new pain somewhere

Please look it up on this forum it may help you understand how you feel ,it certainly helped me

My thoughts are with you

Hi Alex

Reading your post took me back to the time we discovered my mum had small cell carcinoma of the lung. I recognise every feeling you describe. At the point of diagnosis (the November) my mum was deteriorating so quickly neither she nor I thought she would still be with us at Christmas. 

The oncologist could not have been more efficient or supportive, we were really lucky. He never made promises but answered every question with compassion and honesty.

My mum started chemotherapy just before Christmas and then had radiotherapy. She was 80 when she started. She is now 84. 

I don't want to give anyone false hope, my mum confounds even her oncologist's expectations. I lived for three of those four years in a state of permanent anxiety about any tiny change, or ache or pain. I felt sick before every oncology appointment. 

I have stopped feeling that way this year as I have realised how fortunate we have been to have this extra time with my mum. So many people don't have the luxury.     

Wishing you and your family love x