I would like to introduce myself.

i really wish I didn’t have to but life has some nasty surprises up it’s sleeves for you!

my dad recently died from stage 4 lung cancer 1 day after my nephews 18th birthday. He had been in a nursing home for palliative care because he was dying of cancer and he knew it. When he first started getting ill we thought it was just a normal chest infection he normally got and since I had laryngitis and a cold I thought he caught his illness from me. Little did we know it was the dreaded big C. He more or less stayed in hospital from beginning of march till him dying. It was absolutely heart breaking seeing a strong proud independent man go downhill so quickly. By the end his skin just hung off his bones. It spread to his stomach and to his brain in the end. I have lived with my dad since I was born and for the last 6 years he has helped me bring my daughter up. He was my best friend and I am being strong for my daughter but I feel so lost sometimes. I have good days where I have loads of distractions but then bam something reminds me and I feel like rubbish. Please say it’s normal to feel like this