Hello Jill; please feel free to ramble on as much as you want - not that it reads like rambling to me - but this is the place to come to let off steam or spell out your concerns and fears.   Sorry to learn of your dad's death and the fact that it became complicated thus hastening his demise.  Try not to worry too much about the funeral.  The people there will all be grieving for your dad; yes it will be emotional but that is one of the functions of funerals, to cry over your sorrow, to laugh sometimes and nobody minds.  There is a limit to how much you can influence your sister's behaviour - bless her - and people will understand that.  I have to say that her husband planning on leaving here in the near future is perhaps not the kindest thing to do although I accept that I do not know what happens within your family of course.  Likewise I don't know what problems arose while your dad was ill and you were looking after your sister.  Lots of families have issues that can occasionally appear problematic but well they are family and I am sure that you have given your best to helping her.

I am attaching some information about grief from this website which may be of some help to you.  Please do come back and post whenever you feel it will help you.  Annie

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../coping-with-grief