Hello

New to this chat, just looking for some support and maybe suggestions of real time places to go for support.

My dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer in November, he is 72. He had pre existing Barrett's oesophagus and was undergoing regular screening, when he started to get symptoms of problems swallowing and coughing and lack of appetite.

He has had chemotherapy which shrank the tumour, surgery to remove the tumour and now he has had some further chemotherapy, and starts radiotherapy in a few weeks.

It has been hard on him, as a previously fit and healthy person. He has a partner who is looking after him during the treatment, and I'm been trying to see him as much as I can. We were not that close before he was diagnosed- he left when I was 18 and I have huge struggles with my own relationships as a result. 

I am feeling huge guilt at not dropping everything to care for him. I have a full time career, a social life and am struggling with a few emotional issues. I just don't have space to cope with any caring responsibilities. I have an older sister who lives in Australia who is very removed from the whole thing. 

I guess I need to talk to other adult children who have parents with cancer, and work out how to deal with my guilt at not being able to care for him. I understand that his partner needs a break from time to time, but the emotional toll of driving 2 hours round trip each weekend to sit with him so she gets some time off is starting to impact on me.  

i guess what I am asking is a way to cope with and deal with all I am feeling. 

Thank you

Josephine