Sorry for posting constantly I cant function other wise I have to try stay busy and keep my mind occupied I have to try and overcome (in my mind) an immovable object because if I feel like this now how am I going to feel when hes gone I feel for my mum to because I can see it is going to try break her to but hopefully im praying she is strong enough if I lost both my parents It would end me cancer is so horrible it turns colorful happy families into grey shadows of there former selves even splitting them apart but even though I know it will take my dad I promise I will never let it split my family we are all really close we have lost 5 family members to cancer over the last 20 years and stayed strong but we were younger then I dont know how to deal with it now I dont drink but I badly want to just to forget but what good would that do
