Hello carol181; this must be so heartbreaking for you.  What a fast deterioration!  I know next to nothing about oesophageal cancer but I can certainly get the general picture.  Have you any children or other family who are helping you through this?  I don't like to think that you are handling this awful situation totally on your own.   And I don't know what else can be done.   It seems that all you can do is continue to love, talk to and care for him which I am sure you are already doing.  Please do continue to post and let out some of your feelings as  you must be such a sad state and it might help just to say what you are going through.  Sorry I can only offer sympathy and support.  Annie 

Thank you Annie, yes I do have a daughter but only a teen trying to protect her from my sadness/frustration, but it was all so sudden and we didnt get time to ask questions because we didnt know what to ask, now the questions like 'is it curable or is this pallative care and he is actually going to die soon' i want to ask but cant bring myself to x

Hello Carol

Im really sad to hear about your husbands situation, it has happened so cruelly and quidkly.  I do imagine your heartbreak because my partner has Oesophageal cancer, diagnosed last September. He has just had a massive operation, currently in HDU, and everything is very uncertain indeed.  I simply want to send my thoughts to you today, and let you know Im thinking about you, as we travel this very hard journey. 

Best wishes

milliestorm

Hi Carl,

So sorry to hear about the situation you and your husband are in, the rapid turn of events must be hard to cope with.

Has your husband already had CT or MRI scans, if not when are they planned to happen? This will enable them to tell how far, if at all, the cancer has spread. This in turn will enable them to work out what treatment plans to recommend.

I know from personal experience how devastating it is to be told your oesophageal cancer is inoperable and, in my case, incurable. All I can advise is not to give up hope until you have all the facts available and your husband is in a position where he can make an informed choice. 

I found it useful to write down all the questions I had between receiving my diagnosis and the first formal meeting with my oncologist. These included the questions you have - why is it inoperable, what is the best outcome from chemo, is Herceptin an option, is radio-therapy an option? I also wrote all the answers down as they were given to me as I'd read that stressed patients only remember about 40% of what they are told unless they write it down.

I hope you get answers soon to all your questions.

Good luck and best wishes

Dave

Hi Millie,

I hope your partner's operation was a success and that he makes a full and quick recovery.

Best wishes

Dave

Thank you milliestorm, its all so confusing at the moment the only thing we know is what the doctor said, we cant operate and you need to get your strenght back for chemo. Not had an appointment for the oncologist yet but also waiting to hear if he can have stents this tube feeding is killing him :(. Hope your partners op was successful and the uncertainty soon passes 

best

Carol

yes he had a gastroscopy (which he pulled out he felt like he was about to choke, so he had a baruim meal, then another gastroscopy under sedation this time, then a CT scan then a further gastroscopy/endoscopy all in all 4 weeks of tests then they called him in 2 weeks ;ater and gave the devastating news. We have not got an appointment yet with the oncologist but my husband is failing daily from the man he was if only he could get the stents in then he could eat proper food. I only asked what stage the doctor said stage 3 not really sure what this means other than what I have read. Thanks for the tip and the useful questions at this moment I really didnt know what to ask   

Many thanks Dave

Carol

Helo Carol

You have had such a little time to even start to come to turn with whats happening, I know I was completely devastated when we found out about the cancer.  One of the things that helped me so much was that I had a counselling hour with a MacMillan nurse from the the team at the hospital. She was so helpful, I cried and cried and cried, and she just gave me some sort of strength to go forward.  I also talk to a lovely MacMillan nurse at our local hospice, and again she has given me strength at the worst times, because she understands the process of what people experience and can give emotional and practical support too. Don't give up hope, it feels like going to hell and back, but there's strength for the way forward. 

Wishing you all strength and blessings for today.

Regards

Milliestorm

Thank you so much Dave, wonderful to see how things are going for you, and a real reminder to not ever lose hope.  He's in a lot of pain at the moment, but taking each day as it comes.

Milliestorm