Hi everyone.

So, I’m looking for somewhere to offload, speak to people in a similar situation and get advice and support.

My lovely Dad who is 69 was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in January, stage 4 meaning it’s incurable and inoperable. Our journey started two weeks before Xmas but Dad was given some hope by the lung consultant who said that one lung was absolutely fine and the other he was just hopeful was an infection. He couldn’t of been more wrong, as 3 hours after a full body scan he was phoned and asked to see the consultant the next morning who confirmed our worst fears.....it is cancer in both lungs.

My Mum is awaiting a double knee replacement and also suffers massively with anxiety and depression, so as you can imagine she isn’t doing too well. My older brother does his best but I feel it’s all down to me.

Dad said he just wants us al to carry on and be happy, he doesn’t want sadness or tears. I’m trying so hard to be the chirpy, happy go lucky character but it is wearing me down BIG TIME. However, I can’t be anything else as I don’t want to see him upset.

The other day he asked me to go through all the finances and legal stuff with him so that when he isn’t around I, along with my brother, can ensure my Mum is ok. This was such a hard thing to do.

i am also a mummy to two amazing girls who are 5 and 8months. Dad dotes on them and they certainly lift his spirits. The thing that breaks my heart is that my baby daughter will probably never remember him and my eldest will only have a few years of memories.

Trying to be strong and keep it together is taking it’s toll and people are beginning to notice. I’m not sleeping, I’ve been feeling short of patience and I have a few horrid cold sores which I tend to get when I am really run down.

I do actually feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders but I don’t want to appear weak.

My Dad is my best friend and the past few days it has hit me what I am facing. 

Im sorry to go on but hoping someone may have some good advice?

thanks