Hello Margaret.  So sorry about what you have been going through and the dilemma you found yourself facing.  There are people who post here who will understand what you have been through and will share their experiences; everyone is so caring and nobody judges anybody else.  I have not been posting for long and have not had cancer myself; I have seen too many people - close family, neighbours and friends - go through the cancer battle and for each one it has been a very individual thing.  How sad that your social life is zilch as you put it - you sound a very nice lady and it is a shame that you cannot let your friends too close.  I hope you will come to count the people on this forum as friends and that you will get some response that will help you. 

Hi Margaret,

I see that this is only your second visit to the forum, so a very warm welcome to Cancer Chat.

I am so sorry to hear that you have been plagued by a third bout of breast cancer. Were they all the same type and grade? I have had 2 bouts in the same breast. The first was 7½ years ago and the second was 6½. The first time I had a lumpectomy followed by Tamoxifen and the second a double mastectomy, followed by Letrozole. I just stopped taking Letozole last summer. I too was left with nerve pain and nasty scar tissue, but, with the help of one of the specialist nurses at The Haven who did myofascial release on these, they look and feel totally different now.

 I am just 3 years younger than you and have had so many operations that my body looks like a patchwork quilt. Instead of feeling embarrassed about these, I now consider these as my battle scars and, with the addition of each new scar, I feel that I have beaten another challenge in my life and have these scars as trophies of a life lived against all the odds.

Most of us have to learn to live with the worry that the cancer might recur or spread. There are no guarantees in life. A number of us on this site have refused further treatment for a variety of  reasons. Getting a diagnosis of its’ return is a good test to see how serious you are about having no further treatment. Make a list of questions for your consultant. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about what is likely to happen with and without treatment. You won’t be able to make the right decision for yourself until you have all the facts. You are also within your right to get a referral back to your oncologist.

Get the opinions of as many doctors as you can. In tandem with so many other predicaments, some doctors have different opinions than others. Try not to be swayed by the guidance given. This is one decision you have to take for yourself, so you need to be absolutely certain and completely happy with whatever conclusion you reach.

 I am sorry to hear that you also have Hashimotos. I have Diabetes and know all about extreme tiredness. Does your treatment for Hashimotos not help with the tiredness? I believe that you may have to adjust your treatment for this from time to time. Your allergy to perfume also sounds pretty severe. Have your GP or a dermatologist not managed to find something to help you with this?

You are obviously feeling low tonight and, I’m not at all surprized. We all have times like this. Life, even with your trials and tribulations is not all that bad. You obviously have one very good friend and, this is a very precious commodity. By the sounds of things, you are also enjoying your DSLR. I bought one four years ago, when I realised that I would have to change my interests to some that I could manage, now that my mobility has been so much more restricted. I have had tremendous pleasure from this and I am sure that you could too. Your Thermomix sounds like fun too – what a pity that you cannot have more friends around to enjoy the fruits of your labour.

I do so hope that it is good news tomorrow morning. Please keep in touch and let us know the outcome and also what you finally decide to do.

I sincerely hope that you reach the best decision for you.

We are always here for you whatever you decide.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx