Hi Tracy,

Can I first of all offer my Sincere Sympathy on the loss of your partner?  This must be very hard for you, especially now that you have time to come to terms with all that has happened. Do you have family or friends to give you support at present?

What type of cancer did he have and how long had he had it for?

I lost my mum to metastases from breast cancer 20 years ago and I still miss her every day. It does get easier, but it takes time. Grief is a very personal thing and it takes some people longer than others to accept their loss. Mum survived for 12 years, but was told that it had metastasized into her liver, lungs, brain and bones. It was harrowing and heart-breaking to see her struggle so desperately at the end.

I myself have now had 3 bouts of breast cancer, the first bout was diagnosed 7 years ago, the second 6 years ago and the third this year. Knowing what is likely to lie ahead fills me with dread.

Cancer doesn’t just affect the patient, but the entire family and it is difficult to keep up your positivity and strength, although, somehow or other, we find the wherewithal to cope with it all. We don’t always realize how much it takes out of us at the time. It is often not until a few months later that we realize just how much.

Do you think that counselling would help you? There are a number of charities who offer this service. It is not for everyone, but some people really benefit from this. Try to force yourself to join some groups which will take you out of the house and meeting new people. The more interests you have, the easier you will find it to cope. Are you working or retired? Would you consider helping out with a local charity? I found this very helpful.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and I sincerely hope that things get better for you soon.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are coping. We are always here for you, whenever you feel like talking,

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx