Hi Nicola,

Welcome to Cancer Chat.

I am sorry to hear about your Mum's throat problems. Try to persuade her to let you accompany her to all of her appointments. It is always helpful to have someone with you when you are talking to the consultant, as we only retain a very small proportion of the conversation from this meeting and two heads are better than one. Also, when she returns for her results this week, it is always good to have some support if she is to be given bad news.

It is also worth drawing up a list of questions between you and take these along when she visits her specialist. It is so much easier for relatives when they know exactly what their loved one is dealing with. There is nothing more upsetting than being kept in the dark.

Instead of thinking of the worst, try making memories with your Mum, whilst she is fit enough to do so. This will help your children to cope with what is happening and help them to remember her in years to come.

I do hope that she gets some good results from her tests.

Please let us know how she gets on. We are always here for you, wheneer you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thanks Jolamine. Today we have found out she has to go for a scan in wednesday, my guess if we will get the results back from that and the biopsy. Iv pleaded  to let either myself or my sister go but she refuses! Tbh I would be useless, probably not a great support and she has told me she doesn't want me to get upset. She has asked my eldest daughter (23) to go so Iv told her to record any conversations. 

Thank you for taking the time to respond. 

Hi Nicola,

I'm sure that you would be fine at any appointment. We all seem to get hidden strengths when we have to deal with something like this.

Even if your Mum doesn't want you or your sister with her on Wednesday, it is reassuring that she will let your daughter accompany her. I am sure that your daughter will be able to give you a better rendition of the consultation than your mum will. She can also ask questions that your mum might overlook.

I suspect that once she has had a few appointments and sees how supportive you all are as a family, she will be happy to have any one of you with her in the future.

This is where you and your sister need to be strong for your mum. You may be scared, but I'm sure that she is petrified, yet afraid to let you know this, in case you get more upset, Try to talk to her about practical matters concerning her diagnosis and to present a 'we can do this' attitude. This should be a great help to her.

I hope that all goes well on Wednesday and that you don't have too long to wait for her results.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

We're still none the wiser! Three weeks ago my mum got her biopsy, she got told she had a right miss mash going on. Last Wednesday (2 weeks later) she got a scan as that's hadn't been done yet. I'm trying to keep busy but feel like I'm on edge ready to explode. Today whilst performing a treatment I burst out crying - totally mortified! Why does everything take sooo long! I want to know so we can plan and organised stuff but at the same time burying my head in the sand hoping it will go away seems appealing. 

Hi Nicola,

Your poor mum seems to be getting the run around. Did they give her any reason for the delay in getting her results? This usually only takes a week.

I know just how worrying it can be when you are waiting for a diagnosis. It is a scary time and time almost seems to stand still when you are waiting. You should have been given a telephone number which your mum can use to contact her specialist nurse. Why not phone her up and ask if her results are back yet?

I know that it's embarrassing to burst into tears in front of a patient, but I'm sure that they would have understood, given the circumstances. Sometimes, it is therapeutic to have a good cry. This is a great release valve for stress, but maybe better to let the tears flo at home next time?

I hope that you don't have much longer to wait. You will feel better once you know exactly what you are dealing with.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Sorry I haven’t updated but it’s been a rubbish time .So, the result was indeed cancer but it was in the early stages! Couldn’t quite believe it as we all thought it would be much worse. She had six weeks of radiotherapy five/six day per week, coped well to begin with. The recovery from that was slow, lost lots of weight,her taste buds changed and generally felt tired all the time. Fast forward 4 months since the end of her treatment and she finally beginning to eat more and looking well in herself. She has got the all clear (or as good a result as we had hoped) from her throat cancer but has just had the results from a scan to say that she needs another scan because her lungs are showing signs of something which could also be cancerous. Just when things are looking better we get another blow! 

Hi Nicola,

I have been thinking about your mum and was wondering how she was getting on, so thank you for replying. I am sorry to hear that it is cancer, but glad to hear that you have caught it early, especially when you were expecting it to be more advanced.

She has done well to get through her radiotherapy and I am glad to hear that she is finally eating better and looking well. It is great to hear that she has now got the all clear for her throat, but I can only imagine how devastated you all feel about the results of this last scan.  After all that your mum has been through, she could do without this.

This latest blow, must have left you all reeling. This is why so many liken their cancer journey to a rollercoaster ride. There are so many ups and downs and, just when you believe that you are moving forward, it’s caught you in its clutches again. Does she have a date for the repeat scan yet?

I hope that, if there are lesions in the lungs you have caught them in the early stages too. Please remember that we are always here for all of you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Nicola,

I am not a medic, so may be totally wrong in my understanding of things. They quite often inject a dye into the body to make things glow and therefore easier to find. There are various reasons why it might not have been seen at her last scan. The first is that it might not have been present at her last scan and has grown since. The second is that the scan just didn't pick it up. This is probably why they now want to inject her prior to her next scan.

We all tend to think the worst prior to such tests, but I hope that you are wrong. It could be a secondary cancer, but many people live with a secondary diagnosis these days. This is why so many refer to the cancer journey as a rollercoaster. One minute you get the all clear and are on cloud nine. The next, you are told something like this and you are down in the doldrums again.

Has your mum been given a date for her next scan yet? I know that it is difficult if not impossible, not to worry, but do your best to be positive until you know for certain.

Thinking of you both.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx