Hi there Daniel ... so sorry your going through this cancer journey with your dad..... and yes there’s sadly far too many of us that have been where you are now ... everyone’s journey is so different, every situation is different ... my mum went suddenly from a heart attach... where we had no worning ... she was fine that morning , at 2.20 she’d gone ... total shock , she was my best buddy and the most wonderful nanny to my two sons 16 and 7 they adored her ... my dad went slowly with a lung disease .. watching him was heart braking... 

the one thing I have learned from both , is weather they are coping with a condition or not , tell them all the things your heart feels .. and when its sadly terminal ... talk .. cry ... hug ...hold his hand .. and most of all walk his path with him ... he will live in your heart, and no one can take that away ... 

the feelings we go through, are anger (why did they go)...feeling  lost .. so many tears .. and not knowing how to cope without them in our lives ... maybe regrets...and feeling guilty the first time you smile/ laugh  but oh so slowly day by day you learn to adapt and learn to live with missing them ... 

i still, years down the line, look up and tell them all I would if they were here, my two boys still put photos of them with my mum on face book and say how wonderful she was 28 years down the line ... the missing them never goes .. it shows, when you feel like that just how lucky we were to have had such wonderful parents in our lives ... some aren’t so lucky ... 

so sending you a big hug over the Atlantic... hang on in there ... Chrisie x ️