Hi there Bren ... welcome to our little club ..... all those feelings are what most of us feel ... along with every emotion you can imagine ... so at least know your normal ... I'm 9 weeks post mastectomy... and if I had to say what's the hardest part of the journey... it would be the waiting ... if only we could switch our brains off and stop thinking for awhile... 

unfortunately we can't run away ... as it will follow us ... so we have to get through somehow.... that's why wer all here to hold your hand .... and help you go, where we've been too ... and one day maybe you can help someone on here too ... most of us have found filling your time with anything and everything you can ... try not to look to far ahead , concentrate on today ...otherwise it gets overwhelming... have you family and friends ? They can help, as you'll need lots of hugs ... I was like you at first, and my son was panicking....my daughter in law got us both and said o.k you got cancer, we'll sort one prob at a time, and take it one day at a time .. not do "what ifs" and we'll do whatever's needed... TOGETHER... she made us keep our feet firmly on the floor ... it was the best pep talk I ever had ... 

so hold on in there hunny, wer here whenever you need us ... big big hug Chrisie X

Thank you Chrisie I have got a daughter and husband and my sister who lost her husband to cancer two years ago.They are all so supportive and are trying to help as much as they can my sister keeps saying what you have about taking one day at a time and I have been trying to do that.It does help speaking to others about it too .Hope you are okay too.

bren