Hi Maggie ... so sorry your mum and dad are going through this journey we find our selfs on ... it's so worrying and feeling helpless coz there's no easy way to help .. your dad sounds pretty positive .. and that's always a good sign .. and I was like your dad , at my age we are in a position where our kids are grown and that helps us deal with this journey... so many on here have babies and I can't imagine how heartbreaking that must feel .. we don't want this thing called cancer but wer in a more bearable place to deal with it ... you and dad held your mums hand and now it's time to hold your dads ... walk with him on this journey he's found his self on , and do it together ... 

talking about feelings and not being afraid to have a few tears and hugs and saying all the things in your heart honestly and gently will help you all through .. looking to far ahead and thinking "what if" makes it all seem overwhelming and that helps no one ... taking one day at a time and dealing with each prob as it comes up makes it more bearable ... 

youll find lots of support here and a shoulder if you need it ... hold on in there ... big hug Chrisie xx

Hi Chrissie

Thanks I much for your message - Dad is very positive which is great & doesn't seem to think it's a problem! Well not on the outside anyway...I think once I've unravelled his full diagnosis (whatever that may be) I will feel better as I'll understand more. I am so lucky to still have both my parents with me, so many of my friends have lost one or both of their parents & I have friends who have / are fighting cancer.

One day at a time is definitely the way forward, I found with Mum that I was grieving for her while she was undergoing treatment, but she came out of it ok...  

I hope you are well - you said you were like my Dad, positive, so I am guessing you had / have cancer - I really hope you are fighting fit.

Mx

Hi there ... yes I got brest cancer ... don't know bout fighting fit, but I'm still standing .... let's hope your dad has good outcome like your mum ... hold on in there ... one more rollercoaster... regards Chrisie xx

Hi Chiss

I have sent you a friend request as you replied to.my losing my mum and best friend. I have read a lot of your posts and you have been through a lot.  I am the same l am only 44 and have had one hard life. I have ostioarthritis that l only found out 3 years ago. Until that l loved to walk and go holidays but l was not blessed enough to have a family not for the want of trying over 3 years. I think now its for the best as l have had had my 2 hips replaced 1 knee 1 ankle fusion and now l am going in for my last knee replacement in 3 weeks and it will be xmas before l can get about and back to work for 2 days. Hopefully that will be me until my 1st revision on my hip thats unless my other ankle goes. My life consistes of taking painkillers and being in pain and my husband helping me shower or doing most of the things l used to be able to do no problem. I just feel like a burden but at least l am alive and ok. I will not complain as l am alive and l have a great husband and a cat. I lost my mum that was the worst thing l have ever felt and still feel empty and lost and scared that my mum is not going to be there to help me through the knee op. She was always who l wanted  if l was ill and was always there. She won't be this time. I could cry thinking of it.

Regards 

Laura xx

I love your positivity - still standing us a great attitude to have & I wish you all the best - thanks for your messages xx

Hi Laura

It looks like you've had a really tough time of it & not helped by your health problems. I can't speak from experience & totally understand why you want your Mum at your side but it sounds like you have a really loving and supportive husband who will help you through the hopefully last surgery & be by your side. I wish you all the best with your health & hope that you recover well & it gives you a new lease of life. My aunt had both hips replaced after being in pain for years, using sticks etc. - she is now stick & pain free so I hope the sane for you.

take care

M x

Thanks Maggie that was really nice of you to say. I am sure my hubby will be there he always is but it used to be him and my mum. They had a great relationship l think cause l was really ill one time years ago and they thought l was going to die as l had a bleed inside my stomach and l ended up collapsing in my front garden....lucky as l had just stopped driving. I was rushed to hospital as my blood was so low. I however ended up with blood posioning and it spiraled into.my kidneys being affected they stopped working then it was my heart. End of it l became really ill and my husband and mum and dad were at my bedside constantly. Thats when my mum and husband formed a bond as she could see how much he loved me.. l am talking years ago as l have been married 20 years and  been with mark since he was 16 and l am 44 now. So my mum ended up becoming his mum as he lost his mum 10 years ago to bowel cancer and his dad a few years after with a heart attack.. but from the age of 16 he spent all his time with me and my family. He was close to his mum and was devastated when she died. They used to phone each other everyday. You see we came from diffrent places and he was quite far from his family and ended up moving in with my parents when he was 18 until we got out first house. So when my mum died there it affected him as much as it did us all. Infact l think he was closer to my mum than my brother was as he spends half the year in america. Anyway l am yapping on again. I still miss my mum so much it was like it was yesterday she died. Today l am in bed as my legs are so sore l must have done to much yesterday. I was cleaning and then went for a bath which is hard to get in and out l need my hubby there to help. But for some reason my foot is in agony the one l had fused in april and my knee is awful.

My hips are great l can't complain about them they feel like real hips. My knee is not great even though its been done you can always feel its been done. Its tendor and l can't lean on it. But there is no pain. So l am not looking forward to other one next month as its such a painful op for not the greatest outcome. 

I lie here and wonder how did this happen.....is it real. I am still in disbeleif about my mum dying. I would have put money on me going 1st with the amount thats wrong and been wrong with me. My mum was so healthy and was a good person. She did everything right. I think why her she had years left in her as she was so young for her age. She has left my dad who was the quiet gentle one heartbroken. He is lost and lonely. And 2 daughters that would give anything to see her again as she was our best friend. Life is not fair Maggie. I had no idea it would hurt so much 

Sorry for going on

Love

Laura xx

Hi Laura

Sorry for the length of time it's taken me to reply. I can't imagine how hard it just be for you, your sister, father & husband at the moment but I really hope you can seek comfort in each other.

take care x