Hello LokIV

welcome to the forum but so sorry you have had to find yourself here. That said you will find lots of support, advice and friendship here.

My husband was diagnosed in August with oesophageal cancer so I do know how you're feeling. Your emotions and thoughts will be all over the place. 

You haven't said how far along the treatment plan path you are. Do you know what the plan is? My hubby has just started chemotherapy (on Wednesday last). That lasts 9 weeks then an op then repeat the chemotherapy. If you haven't got a plan in place yet, I promise you will feel better once that is sorted.  In the meantime, if you are anything like me you will be up and down like a yo-yo emotionally speaking.

there is a really good website dedicated to oesophageal cancer www.opa.org.uk -  or something like that.  One piece of advice -  stay off the websites unless they are  recognised websites. Most of them are ill informed and downright scary!

 I can't promise to be able to answer anything specific for you, but I am here if you need moral support.

In the meantime, try and focus on the here and now, you need each other more than ever - cry, laugh, rage against the world but make sure you give each other lots of love and cuddles – be kind to each other 

 Thinking of you both 

Ruth x

Hi there ... it effects lots of us , like you that first time you hear the word we all dread hearing ... it is quite normal to feel like that ... but your not on your own ... so many of us are now in the same boat , although all at different stages .... 

i found it helpful to talk to the people closest to me .... trying to hold it in can make it overwhelming and then it will all get to much ... there's a helpline if you want to talk to a trained nurse on here and McMillan too ... the more you can talk together and listen to how you both feel , you'll be able to hold each other's hand and walk this journey together... but expect these feelings to pop up ... just when you don't expect them ...

my daughter in law is the one keeping us holding on , on my cancer journey ... she said we'll deal with things as and when they arise ... not to let our minds say "what if" we've all talked , hugged and shed a few tears ... together ... it is keeping me positive and hopeful ...

be kind to your heart and know there's always people on here to help you day by day ... to hold on .. one step at a time ... but know what your feeling now has been felt by so many of us in the early stage ... your stronger then you think ... and braver then you know ... big hug Chrisie Xx

Thank you for your reply. Tour kind words are so appreciated, he has started chemo but it is inoperable. Doctors say chemo will buy some time. But the chemo is making him really ill. They are giving him a really strong dose as he is youngish and very fit (the irony- he has never drank or smoked and exercises regularly).

Chrisie you are so lovely and supportive. 

ruth x

Thank you so much for your lovely words. Im so scared of the lonely future. I’m not brave enough. I have children (not his) and they are all that keeps me going

I'm so sorry to hear that. Try to take baby steps and not dwell on what might happen - no-one knows what's round the corner and lots of people live a long time even after an "inoperable" diagnosis. 

Please make sure you look after yourself you need to be strong to support your man.

Take care

x

THank you for your reply, and kind words. I have found so much goodness in people since the diagnosis. I know that whatever happens, I will never be the same, but I think a better person, eventually

You can do this ... your children need you ...  and listen to Susanruth.. she's been where you are and sharing the same journey as you ...  I'm sure you could both keep in touch and help each other through ...  you can always ring the help line on here or McMillan... they will always listen too ... 

i have my little granddaughter Emily (5) staying here with me ight now , and she's my reason to keep going and she's my best bud ... and she gives me something to smile about every day ... she holds me and tells me just how much she loves me , and inside my heart brakes that one day I may be gone, and when I watch her sleeping , I have my tears ... but I will make every day count and I'll make sure she has lovely memories ... coz this cancer takes away so much , It won't take away any more then it has too .. every day we do something "normal" we take back control (hope that makes sense" 

make your memories that , no matter what , you'll look back and be glad you made the most of the time you have ... and no one knows how long we have here ... wer here to hold your hand and you have 3little ones and they need you to hold theirs  ... a lot of people have no one .. it's one of the toughest roads we travel on ... thinking of you Xx

Ditto hunny ... you have a big heart too ... my thoughts are with you both ... Keep in touch if ever you need a shoulder to lean on ...Chrisie xx