Oh Brianne,

I notice that this is the first time that you've visited the site, so welcome to Cancer Chat.

Just listening to your story brings tears to my eyes. I fully respect your husband's stance.  Even though you are a retired nurse, you must find this an incredibly difficult situation to be in. My mother had breast cancer and survived for 12 years from diagnosis. She was told that she had metastases in her liver, lungs, bones and brain in her final year and, she deteriorated very quickly after that. This was both harrowing and heartbreaking to watch.

It sounds as if you are going through something similar at the moment? The emotional side of caring for a loved one who is deteriorating so quickly, is very hard to deal with. Are you getting any emotional help from your friends? You really do need someone who is a sounding board for all your worries.

Can I ask if you intend to stay in Crete once the inevitable happens, or would you consider coming back now, to give your husband the facilities that might help ease his way to end of life? Nursing others is very different from nursing a loved one. If your husband is 81, I suspect that you yourself are no spring chicken either. Nursing him totally on your own at this stage of your life, will be a lot more difficult than it was in your hey day and, could take a lot out of you.

Please let us know how you are getting on. We are always here for you, whenever you feel like talking.

Thinking of and praying for you both.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx